When my daughter Danielle was little we used to sing this song called Whose that Girl in the Mirror. I think it came from an old children's video, but this 50 something year old brain of mine can't quite recall.
Speaking of this "53" year old mind...it is also attached to this 53 year old face and body, and that is my inspiration for today's blog.
Sunday morning I was lying in bed thinking about my life, my age, and time. I took a quick selfie of myself void of makeup (and if I was tech savvy I would add it to this blog...but I'm just lucky I even know how to do this blog )....any way I digress...I looked at the selfie with my face full of lines, and a neck that sags and shows my age. I looked at my arms that giggle and have a wing like span to them. And then I even looked down at my no longer flat stomach with its many many stretch marks. I realized then that the song Whose that Girl in the Mirror, no longer was about the girl in the mirror, but Me, a 53 year old mother of five and grandmother to Leo.
How is it possible that the girl named Kelly is now a 53 year old mother and grandmother? But then I realized, that I am still that girl, and I am still youthful and full of life. I realized that the lines on my face, are laugh lines, stress lines, worry lines, love lines, life lines....lines that show what a beautiful life I have lived and am living.
My sagging neck may show my age, but this sagging neck is still strong and holds upon it, a head whose brain is still functioning, strong and has still such a huge capacity for learning new things and remembering all that it has learned up till now.
The arms that giggle and look like wings may make me not want to wear sleeveless anymore, but when I thought about my arms and their wings...I thought about guardian angels and their wings. I realized that my wings are for wrapping around my husband, my children, my parents, my siblings, my friends and now my grandson and future grandchildren. These giggly wings have a huge capacity to comfort and embrace all the people that I have had a privilege to love in these 53 years and all the people and loved ones to come.
The stretch marks on my no longer flat stomach...they don't bother me as much. When I see these stretch marks, I see the faces of the five beautiful, amazing human beings that I carried and who created those stretch marks. I think of those stretch marks as I would think of a road map. A map full of destinations and journeys and roads not yet traveled. I look forward to watching my children travel those roads, and create their own maps.
I'm glad I took that selfie this past weekend, and I'm glad it inspired me to write this, because....
Whose that Girl in the Mirror, whose that girl, la la la, la la la la la, whose that happy smiling girl....that girl is me!
Tuesday, August 2, 2016
Sunday, March 20, 2016
Birthday Presents
Today is my Birthday.
I want to thank you all for your presents ("presence")
The gifts of your "presence" in my life.
Whether I've know you a moment, an hour, a week, a month, a year or a lifetime, you have all gifted me with your presence and like the song in Wicked says....because I've known you, I have been changed for good.
It is the people in our lives and their "presence" who make up the wonderful pieces of the complete puzzle we are and will become.
We take each piece and try to fit it into the different grooves until one day the puzzle is completed and our life becomes a final piece of art.
Sometimes, the pieces don't fit, (the negative pieces), but when the pieces that do fit (the positive pieces) the puzzle making becomes an amazing game, and as the pieces come together, it brings so much joy.
Today, I celebrate my parents who started the puzzle called "Kelly". I celebrate my siblings who were the first pieces that were added to my puzzle. My grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, I celebrate you. My childhood friends, my teen hood friends, my husband (one of my favorite pieces), my beautiful children, my grandson...you are all some of the best pieces that my puzzle is made up of. My adult hood friends, my work friends, my children's friends, my theater friends, my new and old friends, you and your presence in my life all make this puzzle making an everyday adventure, and I look forward to adding new pieces and new friends to the puzzle which is my life.
I am grateful for your "presence" and I thank you for all the Birthday messages I received today. I can't wait to keep adding pieces to my puzzle, and one day (many many years from now) when my puzzle is done, I hope you all see apart of yourselves in that puzzle.
Thank you for contributing to my piece of art.
I want to thank you all for your presents ("presence")
The gifts of your "presence" in my life.
Whether I've know you a moment, an hour, a week, a month, a year or a lifetime, you have all gifted me with your presence and like the song in Wicked says....because I've known you, I have been changed for good.
It is the people in our lives and their "presence" who make up the wonderful pieces of the complete puzzle we are and will become.
We take each piece and try to fit it into the different grooves until one day the puzzle is completed and our life becomes a final piece of art.
Sometimes, the pieces don't fit, (the negative pieces), but when the pieces that do fit (the positive pieces) the puzzle making becomes an amazing game, and as the pieces come together, it brings so much joy.
Today, I celebrate my parents who started the puzzle called "Kelly". I celebrate my siblings who were the first pieces that were added to my puzzle. My grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, I celebrate you. My childhood friends, my teen hood friends, my husband (one of my favorite pieces), my beautiful children, my grandson...you are all some of the best pieces that my puzzle is made up of. My adult hood friends, my work friends, my children's friends, my theater friends, my new and old friends, you and your presence in my life all make this puzzle making an everyday adventure, and I look forward to adding new pieces and new friends to the puzzle which is my life.
I am grateful for your "presence" and I thank you for all the Birthday messages I received today. I can't wait to keep adding pieces to my puzzle, and one day (many many years from now) when my puzzle is done, I hope you all see apart of yourselves in that puzzle.
Thank you for contributing to my piece of art.
Monday, February 8, 2016
Me and My Shadow
In keeping with my theme of gratefulness, I am writing my blog today in dedication to Shadows, and light.
Two weeks ago, I went to have my knee checked out for a torn miniscus. At that appointment, the x-ray showed a shadow on my femur. Then the MRI, Cat Scan and Bone Scan showed the same shadow.
What could this shadow mean....well, they sent me to an Orthopedic Oncologist to make sure that that shadow wasn't cancerous. I waited for over a week for the appointment with the Oncologist, and during that week, I went through a series of emotions.
The shadow on my femur, now became a shadow made up of worry, fear, depression, and many other emotions that come with the shadow of the unknown.
I tried to remain positive, and I know I had family and friends praying for me. The hard part of not knowing and waiting to get your results is the roller coaster of emotions you go through (not to mention the tons of food you eat to self medicate yourself)
How could I not remain positive? 11 years ago when my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer that went to her brain, she never once lost her sense of positivity. Was it her positive attitude, that made her survive the cancer, or was it fate. She just went with the flow, and today she is a walking miracle. We were blesssed. We are blessed. I am one of six children, my husband is one of five. We have healthy children, healthy parents,a healthy grandson, healthy siblings and healthy nieces and nephews.....I think this is where my fear came into play....
My mother lost her father at 52, her sister at 65, her brother at 42 ,her sister in law at 56, and her mother at 88. My father lost a sister in law,a brother in law, a nephew, his parents and other loved ones. And in my husbands family we lost his fathers parents, his mothers father, and we were blessed to have his grandmother till she was 102 years old. Loss is such a random thing in life, that when you have a shadow cast upon your health you do tend to worry, and wonder....when will our family be touched by loss again?
Today, the shadow was dispersed when the Oncologist confirmed that the light in the tumor shown on the MRI was just cartilage and not cancerous. Wow! What a relief. But how crazy is that. I am grateful to once again be blessed with a positive outcome. But I am also more sensitive to those who have not had the same good fortune. I will take this news and continue to have new adventures and make more memories. While doing so, I will continue to pray for strength for those who did not get good news in their time of shadows, that they too will be able to find some light to lift their spirit. I will remember loved ones who have passed and remember the light they brought into my life.
Me and my shadow, will continue to see light and love in each new day. I am grateful for today.
Blessings to all
Two weeks ago, I went to have my knee checked out for a torn miniscus. At that appointment, the x-ray showed a shadow on my femur. Then the MRI, Cat Scan and Bone Scan showed the same shadow.
What could this shadow mean....well, they sent me to an Orthopedic Oncologist to make sure that that shadow wasn't cancerous. I waited for over a week for the appointment with the Oncologist, and during that week, I went through a series of emotions.
The shadow on my femur, now became a shadow made up of worry, fear, depression, and many other emotions that come with the shadow of the unknown.
I tried to remain positive, and I know I had family and friends praying for me. The hard part of not knowing and waiting to get your results is the roller coaster of emotions you go through (not to mention the tons of food you eat to self medicate yourself)
How could I not remain positive? 11 years ago when my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer that went to her brain, she never once lost her sense of positivity. Was it her positive attitude, that made her survive the cancer, or was it fate. She just went with the flow, and today she is a walking miracle. We were blesssed. We are blessed. I am one of six children, my husband is one of five. We have healthy children, healthy parents,a healthy grandson, healthy siblings and healthy nieces and nephews.....I think this is where my fear came into play....
My mother lost her father at 52, her sister at 65, her brother at 42 ,her sister in law at 56, and her mother at 88. My father lost a sister in law,a brother in law, a nephew, his parents and other loved ones. And in my husbands family we lost his fathers parents, his mothers father, and we were blessed to have his grandmother till she was 102 years old. Loss is such a random thing in life, that when you have a shadow cast upon your health you do tend to worry, and wonder....when will our family be touched by loss again?
Today, the shadow was dispersed when the Oncologist confirmed that the light in the tumor shown on the MRI was just cartilage and not cancerous. Wow! What a relief. But how crazy is that. I am grateful to once again be blessed with a positive outcome. But I am also more sensitive to those who have not had the same good fortune. I will take this news and continue to have new adventures and make more memories. While doing so, I will continue to pray for strength for those who did not get good news in their time of shadows, that they too will be able to find some light to lift their spirit. I will remember loved ones who have passed and remember the light they brought into my life.
Me and my shadow, will continue to see light and love in each new day. I am grateful for today.
Blessings to all
Saturday, October 10, 2015
The Magic of Disney
So, this morning, I stayed in bed and watched Disney Channel with my husband. To many of you, you will think this is totally lame. But to many of you, you will totally "get it".
We started out watching Girl Meets World. When my kids were young they all watched Boy Meets World, and as sappy as the show was, I can guarantee you, that many of my kids can still quote many of the Topanga and Corey lines from the series. It was a wholesome sitcom, that usually had a life lesson, imparted in the theme of the series, usually by Mr. Feeney, or Corey's Mom and Dad.. Girl Meets World, is a little more caricaturist, or over the top tongue and cheek, but I seriously love it! Its message is always of acceptance, perseverance, friendship, family, and yes...Love. In this series, the grown up Corey Matthews, (now a teacher married to Topanga) begins the show in a classroom setting with a teaching moment...a moment that takes an educational topic, and usually turns it into a life's lesson.
I watch the show, and absorb all the sappiness, and turn to my husband and say, why can't all life be like a Disney show. As I look over at him while watching the series....he too is feeling what I am feeling, and he will often say...."We've been married along time" meaning, we think alike and we feel alike. We are not living in a Disney series, and our life is far from perfect, but gosh darn it....we feel the Disney Magic. The magic, simply put is....we love Sappy Happy Endings, that come from sappy one liners, quotes from Disney shows, and the promise of what could be.
After we watched Girl Meets World, we watched the new Disney movie "Invisible Sister". Again another movie with a Happy Ending, and messages of acceptance, perseverance, friendship, family and Love. Is it so wrong to find simple joy from watching these programs? I think not. I wish all of us could find a little Disney magic in our lives.
My profession is being a Baby/Child Wrangler on photo shoots and videos. Watching the Disney movies and channel, has made for some wonderful conversations with the young children I work with. They get all excited about talking to me about the newest Disney movies and shows, and I remember back to when my children used to love all those programs as well. In their youth and excitement for those shows, I feel the Disney Magic, just as I still feel it today as an "Old" yet young at heart woman.
For my youngest child's College graduation, Donnie and I are taking all our children, our daughter in law and our new grandson to Disney....It has always been a magical place for our family, and though our children are all adults now, I hope to watch them and watch my little grandson all experience the Disney Magic....because I feel that Disney magic everyday, when I accept my children for who they are, watch them persevere through good times and bad, watch them with their friends from childhood and adulthood, love that they will often come for family dinners just to see each other, and most of all Love, because just like a Disney movie or series....Love is what makes the "Disney Magic"
We started out watching Girl Meets World. When my kids were young they all watched Boy Meets World, and as sappy as the show was, I can guarantee you, that many of my kids can still quote many of the Topanga and Corey lines from the series. It was a wholesome sitcom, that usually had a life lesson, imparted in the theme of the series, usually by Mr. Feeney, or Corey's Mom and Dad.. Girl Meets World, is a little more caricaturist, or over the top tongue and cheek, but I seriously love it! Its message is always of acceptance, perseverance, friendship, family, and yes...Love. In this series, the grown up Corey Matthews, (now a teacher married to Topanga) begins the show in a classroom setting with a teaching moment...a moment that takes an educational topic, and usually turns it into a life's lesson.
I watch the show, and absorb all the sappiness, and turn to my husband and say, why can't all life be like a Disney show. As I look over at him while watching the series....he too is feeling what I am feeling, and he will often say...."We've been married along time" meaning, we think alike and we feel alike. We are not living in a Disney series, and our life is far from perfect, but gosh darn it....we feel the Disney Magic. The magic, simply put is....we love Sappy Happy Endings, that come from sappy one liners, quotes from Disney shows, and the promise of what could be.
After we watched Girl Meets World, we watched the new Disney movie "Invisible Sister". Again another movie with a Happy Ending, and messages of acceptance, perseverance, friendship, family and Love. Is it so wrong to find simple joy from watching these programs? I think not. I wish all of us could find a little Disney magic in our lives.
My profession is being a Baby/Child Wrangler on photo shoots and videos. Watching the Disney movies and channel, has made for some wonderful conversations with the young children I work with. They get all excited about talking to me about the newest Disney movies and shows, and I remember back to when my children used to love all those programs as well. In their youth and excitement for those shows, I feel the Disney Magic, just as I still feel it today as an "Old" yet young at heart woman.
For my youngest child's College graduation, Donnie and I are taking all our children, our daughter in law and our new grandson to Disney....It has always been a magical place for our family, and though our children are all adults now, I hope to watch them and watch my little grandson all experience the Disney Magic....because I feel that Disney magic everyday, when I accept my children for who they are, watch them persevere through good times and bad, watch them with their friends from childhood and adulthood, love that they will often come for family dinners just to see each other, and most of all Love, because just like a Disney movie or series....Love is what makes the "Disney Magic"
Saturday, August 8, 2015
Bubbles
When you are a child, blowing bubbles, popping bubbles and watching them float in the air, brings such awe and joy. Each bubble is unique and effervescent and captures the light in such a way, that you can see a rainbow prism in each bubble you blow.
When I think of bubbles now, sometimes I wish I could capture my children in a beautiful effervescent bubble and keep them safe there, in a land of rainbows, awe and joy. But my children, like each bubble we blow have their own journeys in the wind, their own beauty, their own uniqueness.
What makes me think of this analogy, is the fact that all of my children are now adults, and my husband and I are getting closer and closer to a complete Empty Nest. When our youngest graduates next Spring, she too will join the other "bubbles" to float in the air, capture the light and follow where the wind blows her.
I wish that I could continue to keep them close and inside a protective bubble, but I realize that the minute you take that wand, dip it into the soapy liquid and blow those bubbles, you are setting them free to share their own beauty with the world.
When I think of bubbles now, sometimes I wish I could capture my children in a beautiful effervescent bubble and keep them safe there, in a land of rainbows, awe and joy. But my children, like each bubble we blow have their own journeys in the wind, their own beauty, their own uniqueness.
What makes me think of this analogy, is the fact that all of my children are now adults, and my husband and I are getting closer and closer to a complete Empty Nest. When our youngest graduates next Spring, she too will join the other "bubbles" to float in the air, capture the light and follow where the wind blows her.
I wish that I could continue to keep them close and inside a protective bubble, but I realize that the minute you take that wand, dip it into the soapy liquid and blow those bubbles, you are setting them free to share their own beauty with the world.
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Set another Plate at the Table "Ode to our Kitchen Table",
Our Kitchen table has another place setting there,
Our Joy is overflowing cuz our first grandchild is here.
So many memories made, so many yet to come,
These moments fill my heart, it's why I became a Mom.
Ninety-six inches long when all the leafs are in,
A Kitchen table, is where many stories begin.
So much laughter, arguing, and agreeing to disagree,
It's the place we sit around as we grow our family tree.
No conversation is ever out of bounds,
My family conversing at our table is one of life's sweetest sounds.
Now Leo's cry is saying "Listen to Me",
And in years to come, may he be joined by many cousins who will add to our glee.
I'm sitting alone at my kitchen table as I write this Ode,
And I look forward to future memories made at the table in our Naugler Abode.
Our Joy is overflowing cuz our first grandchild is here.
So many memories made, so many yet to come,
These moments fill my heart, it's why I became a Mom.
Ninety-six inches long when all the leafs are in,
A Kitchen table, is where many stories begin.
So much laughter, arguing, and agreeing to disagree,
It's the place we sit around as we grow our family tree.
No conversation is ever out of bounds,
My family conversing at our table is one of life's sweetest sounds.
Now Leo's cry is saying "Listen to Me",
And in years to come, may he be joined by many cousins who will add to our glee.
I'm sitting alone at my kitchen table as I write this Ode,
And I look forward to future memories made at the table in our Naugler Abode.
Thursday, May 7, 2015
The Story Goes On
And so our story goes on....two teenagers who fell in love at 16, married at 20 and had five beautiful children, now have a grandson.
Our son Ryan who at birth was given a 5% chance of survival, did just that....he survived, met his wife Annie at 16, fell in love got engaged at 20, married at 23 and at 26 became a father of a beautiful healthy little boy, who will continue our story.
Our grandson is blessed to have 4 great grandparents, 4 grandparents, countless great aunts, and uncles and many many cousins who can't wait to meet him, love him and welcome him into the Naugler, Dougherty, Lilly, and Cincotta families.
When Donnie and I were dating at 16, we knew at a very young age, that we were destined to be together. We always knew we wanted to have a large family, and God Blessed us with our five children. Today, looking at my grandson, who looks so much like my son, my heart was filled with so much joy, because he is just the beginning of this story that never ends. The circle of life.
My blog has always had a theme of gratefulness, and today, I am so grateful to have a healthy grandson with two loving parents. I am grateful to have had Donnie's grandparents, and my grandparents alive and full of stories rich in family history when my first child was born. I am grateful that Leo will have my parents and Donnie's parents to share their family history's with him. I am grateful that Annie's parents are going to fill Leo's life with stories of Lilly and Cincotta history. This is how the story goes on.....it goes on, in the story telling by all those who came before Leo, and will be passed on to all those that are still to come.....
Welcome to the Story Leo Salvatore Naugler.....I look forward to seeing how your story will unfold.....but one thing I know for sure....your story started with LOVE
Our son Ryan who at birth was given a 5% chance of survival, did just that....he survived, met his wife Annie at 16, fell in love got engaged at 20, married at 23 and at 26 became a father of a beautiful healthy little boy, who will continue our story.
Our grandson is blessed to have 4 great grandparents, 4 grandparents, countless great aunts, and uncles and many many cousins who can't wait to meet him, love him and welcome him into the Naugler, Dougherty, Lilly, and Cincotta families.
When Donnie and I were dating at 16, we knew at a very young age, that we were destined to be together. We always knew we wanted to have a large family, and God Blessed us with our five children. Today, looking at my grandson, who looks so much like my son, my heart was filled with so much joy, because he is just the beginning of this story that never ends. The circle of life.
My blog has always had a theme of gratefulness, and today, I am so grateful to have a healthy grandson with two loving parents. I am grateful to have had Donnie's grandparents, and my grandparents alive and full of stories rich in family history when my first child was born. I am grateful that Leo will have my parents and Donnie's parents to share their family history's with him. I am grateful that Annie's parents are going to fill Leo's life with stories of Lilly and Cincotta history. This is how the story goes on.....it goes on, in the story telling by all those who came before Leo, and will be passed on to all those that are still to come.....
Welcome to the Story Leo Salvatore Naugler.....I look forward to seeing how your story will unfold.....but one thing I know for sure....your story started with LOVE
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