Last night at my brothers birthday party, the ex-wife of one of his best friends from high school was at the celebration. Not his high school friend, but his wife was at this party. This made me think of our dearest friend Kelly.
Donnie had a childhood friend, and then, this friend became my friend all though high school as well. This friend was a groomsman in our wedding, and he married a woman named Kelly. We first met Kelly when our oldest daughter was 10 months old, and when she married our friend, life was good. We thought the world of this couple, we even wanted them to be named future guardians of our children, should anything ever happen to us. They made such a great couple.
They were married 13 years, and in the summer of their 12th year of marriage, we all went on a vacation to Disney World together. After that trip, we heard less and less from them, and we wondered if we had done something to offend or upset them. Months later, Kelly came by the house and gave us the devastating news, that she and our friend were going to get divorced. Its one of the few times, I have seen my husband near tears. We had no idea they were having problems. We were blindsided.
No one ever knows what goes on behind other peoples doors, or how anyone else's marriage is, but we thought they were perfect together. Needless to say, they were divorced a year later. In that year leading up to their divorce our friend distanced himself from us more and more. When I asked him about this, he said that Kelly needed us more. What I don't think he realized at the time, is that he gave us one of the best gifts of our lives.
Kelly is the kindest, sincerest, most loving person I know. She looks back on her 13years of marriage to our friend with no remorse and she still feels a fondness for her ex-husband. She is not a bitter woman, and she takes on life with a 'cup full ' mentality. To me, she is family. I consider her a sister of my heart, and all of my relatives and my immediate family embrace her as one of our own.
If there were to be spoils had from divorce...then my family has reaped the rewards. We miss her ex husband, and we have seen him occasionally over the years. He has since remarried, and seems to be very happy. Kelly says she is happy for him. Kelly got remarried a year ago, and Donnie and I were her and her wonderful husband Johnny's only witnesses. It was a beautiful wedding and Kelly and Johnny's smiles radiated with pure love.
So I think in this particular case....there really were no Spoils of Divorce, because life and love go on, and I am actually very grateful to Donnie's childhood and my high school friend, because had it not been for him, we would never have had the gift of Kelly's presence in our life.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Friday, March 23, 2012
The Frame....
I'm sitting here in my living room on this beautiful Spring Day, and I am looking at pictures of my 5 children when they were at about 5 1/2 months old. The pictures are framed in the custom made frame that once held my grandmother Dougherty's five children's senior portraits. I always loved that frame, and after I had my own five children, I told my Nana, that someday I wanted that frame for my children's portraits. When my Nana passed away, I was given the frame. It's a simple frame, but it hung in my Nana's house for so many years, and now I am proud that it hangs in my home with another generation of children's portraits in it.
The other special thing about this frame filled with my children's portraits, is that my three daughters are wearing a dress that my husbands grandmother had made for our oldest daughter Danielle when she was about 5 months old. The dress was a pretty turquoise blue when Danielle wore it, 7 years later and a little faded Mary wore the dress, and 10 years later, faded even more Jane wore the dress. This dress was made by Donnie's grandmother who is 100 years old today, and I am proud to say that I still have the dress tucked away in my hope chest, and maybe someday another generation of little girls will wear this dress.
That frame, and the dress that my girls are wearing in that frame, are a constant reminder to keep our memories of our loved ones past and present "Framed" in our hearts. Memories, even more than pictures, can be passed on from generation to generation, if we continue to share our stories of our parents, our grandparents and the grandparents who came before to our children and the children to come. When people ask about the frame hanging in my living room with my five children in it....I tell them the story of how the frame came to be, and about the dress that Great Grandma made, and the story lives on, because I am sharing my memories, the ones that I "Frame" in my heart.
The other special thing about this frame filled with my children's portraits, is that my three daughters are wearing a dress that my husbands grandmother had made for our oldest daughter Danielle when she was about 5 months old. The dress was a pretty turquoise blue when Danielle wore it, 7 years later and a little faded Mary wore the dress, and 10 years later, faded even more Jane wore the dress. This dress was made by Donnie's grandmother who is 100 years old today, and I am proud to say that I still have the dress tucked away in my hope chest, and maybe someday another generation of little girls will wear this dress.
That frame, and the dress that my girls are wearing in that frame, are a constant reminder to keep our memories of our loved ones past and present "Framed" in our hearts. Memories, even more than pictures, can be passed on from generation to generation, if we continue to share our stories of our parents, our grandparents and the grandparents who came before to our children and the children to come. When people ask about the frame hanging in my living room with my five children in it....I tell them the story of how the frame came to be, and about the dress that Great Grandma made, and the story lives on, because I am sharing my memories, the ones that I "Frame" in my heart.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
The "Beauty of a Beauty Pageant
The summer I was 18, I was in the "Miss National Teenager Pageant". Like a lot of other girls in the late 70's early 80's Barbizon Modeling was a big thing, and a lot of girls my age dreamed of being models or famous. I wanted to be a model and go to Broadway, so I thought entering a pageant was a great idea.
When I got to the pageant, there were girls from all over Massachusetts hoping to find their dream of stardom. There were also girls there vying for a shot at the college scholarships you could win if you placed in the pageant. As I got to meet and know some of the girls, I realized we were all there hoping to win. Its like when you were little and you dreamt of being a fairy princess, only this was a teenagers dream of wearing a crown, and being a "Beauty Pageant" winner.
Very quickly, I learned that the pageant scene was much like junior high....and there were a lot of "mean" girls who wore fake smiles and pretended to be nice. During our lunch breaks the clicks began, and everyone was trying to "fit in". There was a lot of beauty in the room, but not a lot of "beauty".
Fortunately for me, I found the "beauty" in my pageant experience, in the friend I made that weekend. She was a stunningly gorgeous girl with beauty not just on the outside, but on the inside as well. We sat together during our meals, and talked about our families, and our lives. We just clicked. We went through the paces of the pageant, and it was no surprise to me, that she made it into the top 20....personally I think she should have won. She was glad she didn't win, because as it turned out, she was only doing the pageant, because that's what her family wanted her to do, her heart wasn't really in it.
Our trophy for that weekend of pageantry was a life long friendship. We were both heading to college in the fall, and though she lived in Weymouth, and I lived in Bedford, we promised to meet yearly at Fanueil Hall in Boston. Through the next four years, we kept that promise. After she graduated from College ( I left college and got married a year later) We continued to see each other once a year. We went to each others weddings, were there for the births of each others children and have been emotional support for one and other during the good times and bad times we have been through over the years.
31 years later, with our crazy busy schedules, we still get together at least once a year, but when we see each other, we catch up on the things we have missed, and it will seem like only a day had passed between the times we have seen each other. To me that is a true sign of friendship. She is still a beautiful person on the outside and inside, and I think that summer, we were both winners, because we found "Beauty" at a Beauty pageant, and that Beauty is the friendship we share today. Thanks Carol, for 31 years of friendship, may we have many more years of Beauty ahead of us!
When I got to the pageant, there were girls from all over Massachusetts hoping to find their dream of stardom. There were also girls there vying for a shot at the college scholarships you could win if you placed in the pageant. As I got to meet and know some of the girls, I realized we were all there hoping to win. Its like when you were little and you dreamt of being a fairy princess, only this was a teenagers dream of wearing a crown, and being a "Beauty Pageant" winner.
Very quickly, I learned that the pageant scene was much like junior high....and there were a lot of "mean" girls who wore fake smiles and pretended to be nice. During our lunch breaks the clicks began, and everyone was trying to "fit in". There was a lot of beauty in the room, but not a lot of "beauty".
Fortunately for me, I found the "beauty" in my pageant experience, in the friend I made that weekend. She was a stunningly gorgeous girl with beauty not just on the outside, but on the inside as well. We sat together during our meals, and talked about our families, and our lives. We just clicked. We went through the paces of the pageant, and it was no surprise to me, that she made it into the top 20....personally I think she should have won. She was glad she didn't win, because as it turned out, she was only doing the pageant, because that's what her family wanted her to do, her heart wasn't really in it.
Our trophy for that weekend of pageantry was a life long friendship. We were both heading to college in the fall, and though she lived in Weymouth, and I lived in Bedford, we promised to meet yearly at Fanueil Hall in Boston. Through the next four years, we kept that promise. After she graduated from College ( I left college and got married a year later) We continued to see each other once a year. We went to each others weddings, were there for the births of each others children and have been emotional support for one and other during the good times and bad times we have been through over the years.
31 years later, with our crazy busy schedules, we still get together at least once a year, but when we see each other, we catch up on the things we have missed, and it will seem like only a day had passed between the times we have seen each other. To me that is a true sign of friendship. She is still a beautiful person on the outside and inside, and I think that summer, we were both winners, because we found "Beauty" at a Beauty pageant, and that Beauty is the friendship we share today. Thanks Carol, for 31 years of friendship, may we have many more years of Beauty ahead of us!
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
49 and feeling fine...
Today, I turn 49, and quite honestly, I do feel fine. I have so much to feel fine about. I have my parents, my husband, my children, my siblings, my nieces and nephews, my in-laws, and my friends. All who complete my life in ways that I am grateful for everyday.
My daughter Danielle is going to be running the Boston Marathon next month in memory of her friend's brother who died of Cancer at the young age of 26. It is with respect for him, and all the other people young and old that have lost their lives to Cancer or other diseases, that today I am feeling fine. What I mean is that, today, I will embrace the day, and be grateful for the gift of waking up healthy. My mother, lost her father at the age of 51, her brother at the age of 42, her sister at the age of 65, and her mother at the age of 88. Today my mother at 74 is a Cancer survivor, and everyday she gets up, puts her makeup on, and goes out for a walk. She embraces each day as a gift. So today on my birthday, I am grateful for the gift of life. I think that even those who have fought and lost the battle to disease, were grateful for the mornings that they were able to wake up and embrace a new day, because we never know what tomorrow will bring.
Today, I thank you Mom and Dad for the gift of life, and today I will go out breathe in the fresh air, and say today, I am 49 and feeling FINE.
My daughter Danielle is going to be running the Boston Marathon next month in memory of her friend's brother who died of Cancer at the young age of 26. It is with respect for him, and all the other people young and old that have lost their lives to Cancer or other diseases, that today I am feeling fine. What I mean is that, today, I will embrace the day, and be grateful for the gift of waking up healthy. My mother, lost her father at the age of 51, her brother at the age of 42, her sister at the age of 65, and her mother at the age of 88. Today my mother at 74 is a Cancer survivor, and everyday she gets up, puts her makeup on, and goes out for a walk. She embraces each day as a gift. So today on my birthday, I am grateful for the gift of life. I think that even those who have fought and lost the battle to disease, were grateful for the mornings that they were able to wake up and embrace a new day, because we never know what tomorrow will bring.
Today, I thank you Mom and Dad for the gift of life, and today I will go out breathe in the fresh air, and say today, I am 49 and feeling FINE.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
A Paper Flower.....
Monday, March 12, 2012
What is a Miracle?
24 years ago this coming June, We experienced a miracle. Our third son Ryan was born via c-section. He was 9 lbs and 8 oz. and at first sight he looked perfectly healthy. Within minutes of his birth, he was losing oxygen rapidly and turning blue. The nurses at the Waltham Hospital were amazing, they noticed something was wrong immediately. Within the first hours of Ryan's life, he was intubated, my pediatrician was calling Children's hospital in Boston telling them to make a bed for him, baptized, put in what looked like a space capsule, wheeled in so I could quickly see him, and then transported to Children s Hospital. At 1 a.m.in the morning, the doctors at Children's called my husband and told him, Ryan had a 5% chance of survival. They had a new machine called E.C.M.O (extra corporeal membrane oxygenation) and they wanted him to go on this machine. In 1988 when Ryan was born, under 50 babies at Children's had been treated by E.C.M.O, my husband told them to do whatever they could to save Ryan, and hours later Ryan was one of the first 50 babies at Children s Hospital to be saved by this wonderful machine.
He went from a 5% chance of living, to being a healthy near 24year old married man today. Truly a Miracle.
Over 7 years ago, my mother was feeling sluggish, and having weakness in her left leg and arm. On December 31, 2004, we took my mother to the Emergency Room and it was there that they told us she had a mass in her brain, and that she had cancer. She had stage 4 Lung cancer that traveled to her brain. Not a great prognosis. We were told that 1 in 600 people survived this kind of cancer. My mother is cancer free today. What is even more a miracle is that two years after her brain and lung surgeries, she was diagnosed with stage 2 Colon cancer. She is free of Colon cancer as well. Another miracle.
She is a healthy 74year old grandmother of 22 today.
Both of these instances, Ryan and my mother are truly miracles.
But if someone asked me today, What is a Miracle? I would say...."Today is a Miracle" It is almost 70 degrees outside, the sun is shining, I have a roof over my head, food to eat, and people who love me.
If we all took the time to think about it, there are miracles that we miss everyday. Yes Ryan and my mother are miracles, because they beat the odds that were against them, but there are people in war torn countries, and places decimated by weather, that are out there living and creating miracles as we speak. They are persevering, rebuilding, believing, and beating the odds as well. My wish is that everybody is able to see the miracles in their life.
He went from a 5% chance of living, to being a healthy near 24year old married man today. Truly a Miracle.
Over 7 years ago, my mother was feeling sluggish, and having weakness in her left leg and arm. On December 31, 2004, we took my mother to the Emergency Room and it was there that they told us she had a mass in her brain, and that she had cancer. She had stage 4 Lung cancer that traveled to her brain. Not a great prognosis. We were told that 1 in 600 people survived this kind of cancer. My mother is cancer free today. What is even more a miracle is that two years after her brain and lung surgeries, she was diagnosed with stage 2 Colon cancer. She is free of Colon cancer as well. Another miracle.
She is a healthy 74year old grandmother of 22 today.
Both of these instances, Ryan and my mother are truly miracles.
But if someone asked me today, What is a Miracle? I would say...."Today is a Miracle" It is almost 70 degrees outside, the sun is shining, I have a roof over my head, food to eat, and people who love me.
If we all took the time to think about it, there are miracles that we miss everyday. Yes Ryan and my mother are miracles, because they beat the odds that were against them, but there are people in war torn countries, and places decimated by weather, that are out there living and creating miracles as we speak. They are persevering, rebuilding, believing, and beating the odds as well. My wish is that everybody is able to see the miracles in their life.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
"Raise a kid who won't give up"" How to teach resilience through rain or shine"
Last night at 2a.m. in the morning, my husband Don, and four of our children Danielle, Mike, Mary and Jane all returned from a whirlwind weekend in NYC. When I looked at the Parenting magazine on my kitchen table from the weekend's mail, one of the articles was "Raise a kid who won't give up: How to teach resilience through rain or shine" This article couldn't have come at a better time!
We went to NYC this weekend so that the four children stated above could audition for the television talent contest "The Voice". At 6:30a.m. we got in line with upwards of 6000 people all hoping to become famous. We had to wait outside in frigid weather with whipping winds for over 31/2 hours until we finally got inside for the big moment of truth. As we got checked in (I had to go because Jane is a minor) our bodies began to thaw, and I looked around at so many other "parents'" children, and also some parents auditioning as well. All of these people were hoping that their dreams of instant stardom would come true, and even I was wishing with all of my heart that that dream would come true for my children as well.
Danielle our oldest has been living in NY for over the last three years, standing in lines (maybe not as big) but just as full of hope, auditioning for Broadway shows. She understood what this process was all about, and felt comfortable that she would go into the audition, give it her all and hope for the best, gaining from the experience, but not relying on it to validate her or her talent. Michael, who is in two bands and is trying to make it in the business, went through five stages of grief as he came upon his understanding of how he could view it as a positive thing and not a failure or measure of his talent. (For him it was hard, because he was asked to stay and sing again, and the producer said she was on the fence about him, and she may call him later that day....she didn't end up calling, but the positive light in that, is that Michael can take satisfaction in knowing that there were 6000 people seen, and there were thousands who the producers weren't even remotely on the fence about. He clearly has something, if he gave the producer pause.....Resilience is the key) Mary and Jane who both sing and love to perform, went in with the attitude that "Nothing Ventured is Nothing Gained" I was with Jane at her audition, and she did an amazing job, she was confident, strong and her song was awesome. In fact one of the auditioners told her after we came out of the room, that Jane gave her goosebumps and she knows Jane will be famous one day. Michael and Danielle were with Mary in a separate audition room, and they were both so proud of Mary and her audition, they said she did great....I don't doubt that at all! Donnie and I are so proud of all of them for at least trying. Donnie always said to the kids growing up...."Don't say I can't, say I'll Try".
Everyone who auditioned that day gave their best, and to those who made it through to the next round, I say congratulations and good luck. To those who did not make it through, I say, "Don't give up, be resilient" It may not have been rain or shine, but everyone who waited outside in the freezing cold that day had a dream, my children included, and wherever their life takes them, may they be happy in knowing that for this one day with a crowd of 6000 people, they all Dared to Dream, and as just like Jane and Mary, the way to really look at it was "Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained."
We went to NYC this weekend so that the four children stated above could audition for the television talent contest "The Voice". At 6:30a.m. we got in line with upwards of 6000 people all hoping to become famous. We had to wait outside in frigid weather with whipping winds for over 31/2 hours until we finally got inside for the big moment of truth. As we got checked in (I had to go because Jane is a minor) our bodies began to thaw, and I looked around at so many other "parents'" children, and also some parents auditioning as well. All of these people were hoping that their dreams of instant stardom would come true, and even I was wishing with all of my heart that that dream would come true for my children as well.
Danielle our oldest has been living in NY for over the last three years, standing in lines (maybe not as big) but just as full of hope, auditioning for Broadway shows. She understood what this process was all about, and felt comfortable that she would go into the audition, give it her all and hope for the best, gaining from the experience, but not relying on it to validate her or her talent. Michael, who is in two bands and is trying to make it in the business, went through five stages of grief as he came upon his understanding of how he could view it as a positive thing and not a failure or measure of his talent. (For him it was hard, because he was asked to stay and sing again, and the producer said she was on the fence about him, and she may call him later that day....she didn't end up calling, but the positive light in that, is that Michael can take satisfaction in knowing that there were 6000 people seen, and there were thousands who the producers weren't even remotely on the fence about. He clearly has something, if he gave the producer pause.....Resilience is the key) Mary and Jane who both sing and love to perform, went in with the attitude that "Nothing Ventured is Nothing Gained" I was with Jane at her audition, and she did an amazing job, she was confident, strong and her song was awesome. In fact one of the auditioners told her after we came out of the room, that Jane gave her goosebumps and she knows Jane will be famous one day. Michael and Danielle were with Mary in a separate audition room, and they were both so proud of Mary and her audition, they said she did great....I don't doubt that at all! Donnie and I are so proud of all of them for at least trying. Donnie always said to the kids growing up...."Don't say I can't, say I'll Try".
Everyone who auditioned that day gave their best, and to those who made it through to the next round, I say congratulations and good luck. To those who did not make it through, I say, "Don't give up, be resilient" It may not have been rain or shine, but everyone who waited outside in the freezing cold that day had a dream, my children included, and wherever their life takes them, may they be happy in knowing that for this one day with a crowd of 6000 people, they all Dared to Dream, and as just like Jane and Mary, the way to really look at it was "Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained."
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Behind this Smile....
I just got off the telephone with my sister after an almost 2 hour talk. My sister is a beautiful, kind, generous and compassionate woman. People who meet her are drawn to her kind spirit, and she has many friends who adore her. When you first meet her, you are instantly uplifted, because she has that kind of personality. Both my sister and I to the outside world, are always smiling, and friendly to anyone we meet. As we were talking today, we got into the subject of how people view us, and how most people don't really know what lies behind our smiles.
We both suffer from depression. (There I said it, the big "D" word) there is no shame in this word, it is a part of our lives. We live with depression. Some days it is so difficult to get out of bed and face the world. It would be so much easier to crawl back under our covers, and forget the world exists. Some days we let the depression win, and we stay in bed, but most days, we force ourselves to get up, a go out, and fight to win the battle of our depression.
There are so many types of depression, and everyone suffers differently. My sister and I choose not to allow our depression to defeat us. We have both sought councel for this and at times we have both been medicated. We want to live full lives. So it's like putting makeup on in the morning...for us the makeup makes us feel better, and for us, therapy or medication do the same. The makeup is for the outside, and the therapy and meds are for our inside.
Today during our conversation, I said to her that the people in our lives can be the strongest medicine of all. A random act of kindess, a phone call from an old friend, the laughter of our children, the good health of our parents, or just a cup of tea with a good friend can be stronger than any antidepressant on the market. It is these people who make us want to Smile, and these people who without even realizing it, are helping us battle our depression, just by being themselves.
So for this reason, I will get up today, and I will smile, because my sister called me, and we had a great talk. Today, the depression won't win, because I am grateful for my sister, and she is the reason that today I will get up go out and Smile.
We both suffer from depression. (There I said it, the big "D" word) there is no shame in this word, it is a part of our lives. We live with depression. Some days it is so difficult to get out of bed and face the world. It would be so much easier to crawl back under our covers, and forget the world exists. Some days we let the depression win, and we stay in bed, but most days, we force ourselves to get up, a go out, and fight to win the battle of our depression.
There are so many types of depression, and everyone suffers differently. My sister and I choose not to allow our depression to defeat us. We have both sought councel for this and at times we have both been medicated. We want to live full lives. So it's like putting makeup on in the morning...for us the makeup makes us feel better, and for us, therapy or medication do the same. The makeup is for the outside, and the therapy and meds are for our inside.
Today during our conversation, I said to her that the people in our lives can be the strongest medicine of all. A random act of kindess, a phone call from an old friend, the laughter of our children, the good health of our parents, or just a cup of tea with a good friend can be stronger than any antidepressant on the market. It is these people who make us want to Smile, and these people who without even realizing it, are helping us battle our depression, just by being themselves.
So for this reason, I will get up today, and I will smile, because my sister called me, and we had a great talk. Today, the depression won't win, because I am grateful for my sister, and she is the reason that today I will get up go out and Smile.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
A P.S. to Unexpected Friends.....
One of my new blog readers reminded me today of my gratefulness for his and his family's friendship. Again a door was opened by my daughter Danielle over 9 years ago.
When Danielle was a freshman at Boston College, she had the best freshman roommate anyone could ever ask for, and as well as her freshman roommate, she met and befriended identical twin boys. These four freshman became best of friends, and are still friends today. But the best part of this friendship began the summer after their freshman year.
Without even knowing it, my family and the family of these new friends of Danielle's were all taking family vacations to Disney World. We were all staying at different resorts, but when we found out that each family was staying the same week in Florida, we made plans to get together.
We had already formed casual friendships with these families during the year. The friendship with Danielle's roommate's parents because our daughters lived together, and the friendship with the twin's parents because our children sang in the Choral together and were cast together in a production of Godspell (there's that recurring theme of music touching our lives again.) So we all knew each other, but it was that Summer vacation, that solidified our families friendships.
While our five children, the twins, their little sister, their family friends, and her roommate, all went to the parks one night, our friend Kelly, (who took our family on this trip, the story of my friendship with Kelly is for another day another blog) the twin's parents, her roommate's parents, and their family friends, all got together and went out to dinner. It was a night of laughter and bonding. We ate, we drank, we went to a piano bar, and we ended up singing Karaoke at 1a.m. If that isn't a foundation for a lasting friendship, I don't know what is. Music ended up touching our lives again, but more than that we met two families, that are today, not just friends, but Family. My dad always says that to be grateful is the best gift a person can give. The theme of gratefulness will be recurrent in most of my blogging, so to that note, I say "I am grateful for the friendship of these families. Thank you Danielle for opening another door for us.
** A Happy side note...4 years ago, when my husband and I celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary, I introduced Danielle's college roommate to my cousin Jon. 4 months ago at my son Ryan's wedding, Jon asked Michelle (Danielle's roommate) to marry him and she said yes!!! They are getting married in the Fall. Unexpected friendships.....became a joining of our families by marriage, I am overjoyed, and again...Truly Grateful!
One of my new blog readers reminded me today of my gratefulness for his and his family's friendship. Again a door was opened by my daughter Danielle over 9 years ago.
When Danielle was a freshman at Boston College, she had the best freshman roommate anyone could ever ask for, and as well as her freshman roommate, she met and befriended identical twin boys. These four freshman became best of friends, and are still friends today. But the best part of this friendship began the summer after their freshman year.
Without even knowing it, my family and the family of these new friends of Danielle's were all taking family vacations to Disney World. We were all staying at different resorts, but when we found out that each family was staying the same week in Florida, we made plans to get together.
We had already formed casual friendships with these families during the year. The friendship with Danielle's roommate's parents because our daughters lived together, and the friendship with the twin's parents because our children sang in the Choral together and were cast together in a production of Godspell (there's that recurring theme of music touching our lives again.) So we all knew each other, but it was that Summer vacation, that solidified our families friendships.
While our five children, the twins, their little sister, their family friends, and her roommate, all went to the parks one night, our friend Kelly, (who took our family on this trip, the story of my friendship with Kelly is for another day another blog) the twin's parents, her roommate's parents, and their family friends, all got together and went out to dinner. It was a night of laughter and bonding. We ate, we drank, we went to a piano bar, and we ended up singing Karaoke at 1a.m. If that isn't a foundation for a lasting friendship, I don't know what is. Music ended up touching our lives again, but more than that we met two families, that are today, not just friends, but Family. My dad always says that to be grateful is the best gift a person can give. The theme of gratefulness will be recurrent in most of my blogging, so to that note, I say "I am grateful for the friendship of these families. Thank you Danielle for opening another door for us.
** A Happy side note...4 years ago, when my husband and I celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary, I introduced Danielle's college roommate to my cousin Jon. 4 months ago at my son Ryan's wedding, Jon asked Michelle (Danielle's roommate) to marry him and she said yes!!! They are getting married in the Fall. Unexpected friendships.....became a joining of our families by marriage, I am overjoyed, and again...Truly Grateful!
Unexpected Friends
Today I had breakfast with a dear friend. Someone I only just met 2 years ago, and yet, she is someone who I felt an instant connection with, and I know that we will be fast friends forever. I can see us growing into old ladies together, laughing, singing and talking about lifes complexities together, she is a kindred spirit.
I have another friend like this woman, whom I met over 4 years ago. I feel the same way about her.
Both of these women, I met through music, and I have my daughter Danielle to thank for the meeting of these friends of mine.
About 4 years ago, my daughter decided I should perform again, I used to sing in High School, and as I got older I sang at Weddings and Funerals, but Danielle thought I should get back on a stage. She signed me up for a group called Basically Broadway. It was a group of men and women who performed solos, and group Broadway numbers, I loved it immediately. It was there that I met my friend Judi. She is an actor, teacher and mother of three wonderful sons, and her husband and my husband Donnie hit it off at their first meeting, the four of us became fast friends, and Judi is another kindred spirit to me. I feel as if we have known each other our whole lives, and I know she and I will grow old in friendship.
A year or two after I started Basically Broadway, I built up the courage to audition for a Summer Musical with the Reagle Players of Waltham. I was cast in the ensemble of The Music Man, and that is where I met Meryl. Meryl, is an amazingly talented singer and performer, who performs a one woman show and does one helluva Liza Minelli! She also is a Big Apple Circus clown who performs for the children at Boston Chilrens Hospital.
Both of these women, have never met, and yet both of them are like sisters of the heart to me. It's funny how in life you can be just going along, and then one day unexpectedly, you meet people who will be a part of your life forever. Unexpected Friends are now my forever friends, and I am grateful for them.
** I am also grateful to my wonderful daughter and friend Danielle, who opened these doors in my life, so that these two women could walk into my life.
I have another friend like this woman, whom I met over 4 years ago. I feel the same way about her.
Both of these women, I met through music, and I have my daughter Danielle to thank for the meeting of these friends of mine.
About 4 years ago, my daughter decided I should perform again, I used to sing in High School, and as I got older I sang at Weddings and Funerals, but Danielle thought I should get back on a stage. She signed me up for a group called Basically Broadway. It was a group of men and women who performed solos, and group Broadway numbers, I loved it immediately. It was there that I met my friend Judi. She is an actor, teacher and mother of three wonderful sons, and her husband and my husband Donnie hit it off at their first meeting, the four of us became fast friends, and Judi is another kindred spirit to me. I feel as if we have known each other our whole lives, and I know she and I will grow old in friendship.
A year or two after I started Basically Broadway, I built up the courage to audition for a Summer Musical with the Reagle Players of Waltham. I was cast in the ensemble of The Music Man, and that is where I met Meryl. Meryl, is an amazingly talented singer and performer, who performs a one woman show and does one helluva Liza Minelli! She also is a Big Apple Circus clown who performs for the children at Boston Chilrens Hospital.
Both of these women, have never met, and yet both of them are like sisters of the heart to me. It's funny how in life you can be just going along, and then one day unexpectedly, you meet people who will be a part of your life forever. Unexpected Friends are now my forever friends, and I am grateful for them.
** I am also grateful to my wonderful daughter and friend Danielle, who opened these doors in my life, so that these two women could walk into my life.
Friday, March 2, 2012
"PRICELESS" this word will be used a lot in today's blog
So, in keeping with the "Even Though We Ain't Got Money" theme . Today Donnie and I picked Mary (our 4th child) up at Boston College (she's a nursing major there) and dropped her off at the bus, that will take her and about 75 other Boston Choral members to the airport for a one week trip to Prague.
As her parents we would have loved to financially help her out with this trip, but we are unable to. Did Mary resent us for this, or become defeated and decide to not go? No. She gave up College weekends and even weeknights and babysat for the entire $2500 for the trip.
Her sister Danielle (our oldest and a B.C. alum) basically did the same for her 4 years of Boston Choral trips to Europe. She worked any job she could to raise the money for the trips, and her memories are priceless.
We love all of our children, and unfortunately for them, we didn't always make the smartest financial decisions. But "some of our decisions" were priceless.
When they were little, we would take them on vacations to Disney World by car, and we would somehow manage to rob Peter to pay Paul, so that we could take a family vacation. We should have been saving the money, but Donnie worked so hard and we will never regret the 24 hours straight through car trips to Disney....those trips are where our children learned every lyric to so many Broadway Shows, and they could sing any Disney Movie song ever written. Music like love filled our hearts with such joy, and hearing our children sing in the car during those trips, is what makes those "some of our decisions" priceless.
So even though we didn't have money....our children learned a love of music on those trips to Disney, and this trip to Prague for Mary will be filled with music, like so many of our family trips have been....the memories she makes, will be priceless.
** On a side note, if you are wondering how we send our children to Boston College (Danielle- class of 2006, Michael - one year at B.C. and one year at UMASS, Ryan - class of 2010, Mary Rose - class of 2014, and Jane - to be determined, possibly Providence College for class of 2016) especially under the title of "Even Though We Ain't Got Money".... We gave them what we could financially, but all of them worked to help pay for their educations, and have very large loans. Jane our youngest will follow in the same path of having to work and take out loans next year. Had they all gone to State schools, their educations would have been easier to pay for, but these are the colleges they chose, and out of love we gave them as much financially as we could, and the rest was up to them. We are truly blessed to have such grateful and loving children, who appreciate all that we are able to give them. My family is my greatest wealth, and the love I feel for their father is like the theme above "priceless" Even though we ain't got money..........
Have a safe trip our little Mary Rose....you earned it!
So, in keeping with the "Even Though We Ain't Got Money" theme . Today Donnie and I picked Mary (our 4th child) up at Boston College (she's a nursing major there) and dropped her off at the bus, that will take her and about 75 other Boston Choral members to the airport for a one week trip to Prague.
As her parents we would have loved to financially help her out with this trip, but we are unable to. Did Mary resent us for this, or become defeated and decide to not go? No. She gave up College weekends and even weeknights and babysat for the entire $2500 for the trip.
Her sister Danielle (our oldest and a B.C. alum) basically did the same for her 4 years of Boston Choral trips to Europe. She worked any job she could to raise the money for the trips, and her memories are priceless.
We love all of our children, and unfortunately for them, we didn't always make the smartest financial decisions. But "some of our decisions" were priceless.
When they were little, we would take them on vacations to Disney World by car, and we would somehow manage to rob Peter to pay Paul, so that we could take a family vacation. We should have been saving the money, but Donnie worked so hard and we will never regret the 24 hours straight through car trips to Disney....those trips are where our children learned every lyric to so many Broadway Shows, and they could sing any Disney Movie song ever written. Music like love filled our hearts with such joy, and hearing our children sing in the car during those trips, is what makes those "some of our decisions" priceless.
So even though we didn't have money....our children learned a love of music on those trips to Disney, and this trip to Prague for Mary will be filled with music, like so many of our family trips have been....the memories she makes, will be priceless.
** On a side note, if you are wondering how we send our children to Boston College (Danielle- class of 2006, Michael - one year at B.C. and one year at UMASS, Ryan - class of 2010, Mary Rose - class of 2014, and Jane - to be determined, possibly Providence College for class of 2016) especially under the title of "Even Though We Ain't Got Money".... We gave them what we could financially, but all of them worked to help pay for their educations, and have very large loans. Jane our youngest will follow in the same path of having to work and take out loans next year. Had they all gone to State schools, their educations would have been easier to pay for, but these are the colleges they chose, and out of love we gave them as much financially as we could, and the rest was up to them. We are truly blessed to have such grateful and loving children, who appreciate all that we are able to give them. My family is my greatest wealth, and the love I feel for their father is like the theme above "priceless" Even though we ain't got money..........
Have a safe trip our little Mary Rose....you earned it!
February 20,2012. In one month from today I will turn 49. When I was sixteen, I wrote on a piece of paper that by the time I was 30 I would have five to eight children.
At 30 years old I was pregnant with my fifth child, and she, Jane, would be our last child. Due to having 5 cesarean sections, our doctor advised us to have no more children.
So like the piece of paper said, I had 5 children by the time I was thirty (we’ll technically 31, because she was born in December and I turned 31 the previous March.)
I met my husband in Middle School, and in our Freshman year of High School, he became my best friend. We used to sit in the back of the library and talk about our families and who we were crushing on at the time, but by the fall of our junior year, we realized that we were more than just friends, and on September 22, 1979 he asked me to go steady.
We were dating about three months and I told him that I thought I loved him, he said he “locked” me, that was a cross between like and love. As the months went on, neither of us could deny, that we had something very unique and special. Puppy love, young love, teenagers in love…all of those things and more, but our foundation began as friendship, and even now over 33 years later, and almost 29 years of being married. He is still my best friend, and I love him more with each passing day.
We always said we wanted to have children, even when were were in High School we would often talk about one day having kids together. I don’t think my husband Donnie, thought it would be five children, but then again, he didn’t know I wrote that letter about how many children I would one day have, until after our last child was born, and a family friend who held onto that letter since I was sixteen, framed it and gave it to Donnie when our youngest daughter Jane was born.
We didn’t start off our life together the easy way. We got married at 20. I had dropped out of College, and by the time we got married, Donnie was working 7 days a week and going to College at night. We paid for our own Wedding, (which by the way, was in my mind the Best Wedding Ever!!) and seven months later we were pregnant with our first child, Danielle. During my pregnancy, I used to sing the song “Danny’s song” and the one verse that seems to ring true to our life even today was…”Even though we ain’t got money, I’m so in love with you honey”
AND SO…..This is how my blog begins.....
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