Today is my Daughter Danielle's Birthday. For her Birthday, she asked us for only one gift. She asked us to attend Church with her for her Birthday. My husband was traveling for business, so I told her I would go to Mass with her.
I will admit, I have not been to Church in a very long time. Not since they closed my Parish, joined Parishes, and then actually reopened the Church that for so much of my life was a Home to me and my family. My faith has never waivered and my closeness to God is not measured by whether or not I attend Church. In fact, my husband and I miss our old Parish very much, but when the Churches merged, and our Pastor left, we almost felt a sense of homelessness, and we actually stopped attending our old Parish.
Today, for the first time in a very long time....I felt at home. St. Cecilia's in Boston and Father Unni, brought back so many memories for me, and it was nice to feel a sense of being home again.
My gift to Danielle, actually became a Gift to me. So much so that when I walked into the Church with my daughters Danielle and Mary we were greeted and asked to bring up the Gifts....Ironic. Another gift of the day, was the priests homily....it was about living a life to the fullest, with no regrets, because we actually never know when our time is up, so we should live our life as best as we can, and surround ourselves with positivity, forgiveness and love.
There were messages in the homily and in sitting in St. Cecilia's that touched my heart. When I walked into the Church I saw behind the altar a very large picture of The Last Supper.....my Dougherty grandparents had this picture always hanging behind their couch in the living room when I was growing up, and so many memories of my faith and my religious upbringing come from my Nana and Grampy Dougherty who were very involved in their church..In fact, I believe they are my first memories of a Church being a place to call home. Then after communion, I looked above that picture, and there she was.... a statue of The Blessed Mother, another inspirational message, because I have always called to her in times of need and in times of gratitude and both of my grandmothers had a closeness to Mary, that I have carried that closeness in my heart as well.
All these messages reminded me of why I loved going to St. Bernard's and being a part of that Parish Family. I wish that Donnie had been with us today, because I know his heart would have been feeling the same things my heart felt today.
I don't know if I will ever go back to our original Parish, but I do know this...for anyone who has left the Church....there is always a home out there for you. St. Cecilia's reminded me of this today. Will I start going back every Sunday? I don't quite know, but I feel comfort in knowing that two of my daughters have found a place that feels like home to them, and I do believe I will go back from time to time with them to this very beautiful church. And I have faith that there is always a home out there waiting to welcome back anyone who has left and who wants to go home again.
I have no regrets, I live my life with love and gratitude...I cherish each day as a Gift, and today, I am grateful to my beautiful daughter who on her Birthday gave me the gift of remembering what it felt like to have a home in a Parish.
I have always used this blog as a venue for gratitude, and I have already thanked Danielle, but I also want to thank, Father Barry, Sister Joanne, and all the people who made so many years of being a part of St. Bernard's so warm and inviting and a place to call Home.
Sunday, November 27, 2016
Tuesday, August 2, 2016
Whose that Girl in the Mirror
When my daughter Danielle was little we used to sing this song called Whose that Girl in the Mirror. I think it came from an old children's video, but this 50 something year old brain of mine can't quite recall.
Speaking of this "53" year old mind...it is also attached to this 53 year old face and body, and that is my inspiration for today's blog.
Sunday morning I was lying in bed thinking about my life, my age, and time. I took a quick selfie of myself void of makeup (and if I was tech savvy I would add it to this blog...but I'm just lucky I even know how to do this blog )....any way I digress...I looked at the selfie with my face full of lines, and a neck that sags and shows my age. I looked at my arms that giggle and have a wing like span to them. And then I even looked down at my no longer flat stomach with its many many stretch marks. I realized then that the song Whose that Girl in the Mirror, no longer was about the girl in the mirror, but Me, a 53 year old mother of five and grandmother to Leo.
How is it possible that the girl named Kelly is now a 53 year old mother and grandmother? But then I realized, that I am still that girl, and I am still youthful and full of life. I realized that the lines on my face, are laugh lines, stress lines, worry lines, love lines, life lines....lines that show what a beautiful life I have lived and am living.
My sagging neck may show my age, but this sagging neck is still strong and holds upon it, a head whose brain is still functioning, strong and has still such a huge capacity for learning new things and remembering all that it has learned up till now.
The arms that giggle and look like wings may make me not want to wear sleeveless anymore, but when I thought about my arms and their wings...I thought about guardian angels and their wings. I realized that my wings are for wrapping around my husband, my children, my parents, my siblings, my friends and now my grandson and future grandchildren. These giggly wings have a huge capacity to comfort and embrace all the people that I have had a privilege to love in these 53 years and all the people and loved ones to come.
The stretch marks on my no longer flat stomach...they don't bother me as much. When I see these stretch marks, I see the faces of the five beautiful, amazing human beings that I carried and who created those stretch marks. I think of those stretch marks as I would think of a road map. A map full of destinations and journeys and roads not yet traveled. I look forward to watching my children travel those roads, and create their own maps.
I'm glad I took that selfie this past weekend, and I'm glad it inspired me to write this, because....
Whose that Girl in the Mirror, whose that girl, la la la, la la la la la, whose that happy smiling girl....that girl is me!
Speaking of this "53" year old mind...it is also attached to this 53 year old face and body, and that is my inspiration for today's blog.
Sunday morning I was lying in bed thinking about my life, my age, and time. I took a quick selfie of myself void of makeup (and if I was tech savvy I would add it to this blog...but I'm just lucky I even know how to do this blog )....any way I digress...I looked at the selfie with my face full of lines, and a neck that sags and shows my age. I looked at my arms that giggle and have a wing like span to them. And then I even looked down at my no longer flat stomach with its many many stretch marks. I realized then that the song Whose that Girl in the Mirror, no longer was about the girl in the mirror, but Me, a 53 year old mother of five and grandmother to Leo.
How is it possible that the girl named Kelly is now a 53 year old mother and grandmother? But then I realized, that I am still that girl, and I am still youthful and full of life. I realized that the lines on my face, are laugh lines, stress lines, worry lines, love lines, life lines....lines that show what a beautiful life I have lived and am living.
My sagging neck may show my age, but this sagging neck is still strong and holds upon it, a head whose brain is still functioning, strong and has still such a huge capacity for learning new things and remembering all that it has learned up till now.
The arms that giggle and look like wings may make me not want to wear sleeveless anymore, but when I thought about my arms and their wings...I thought about guardian angels and their wings. I realized that my wings are for wrapping around my husband, my children, my parents, my siblings, my friends and now my grandson and future grandchildren. These giggly wings have a huge capacity to comfort and embrace all the people that I have had a privilege to love in these 53 years and all the people and loved ones to come.
The stretch marks on my no longer flat stomach...they don't bother me as much. When I see these stretch marks, I see the faces of the five beautiful, amazing human beings that I carried and who created those stretch marks. I think of those stretch marks as I would think of a road map. A map full of destinations and journeys and roads not yet traveled. I look forward to watching my children travel those roads, and create their own maps.
I'm glad I took that selfie this past weekend, and I'm glad it inspired me to write this, because....
Whose that Girl in the Mirror, whose that girl, la la la, la la la la la, whose that happy smiling girl....that girl is me!
Sunday, March 20, 2016
Birthday Presents
Today is my Birthday.
I want to thank you all for your presents ("presence")
The gifts of your "presence" in my life.
Whether I've know you a moment, an hour, a week, a month, a year or a lifetime, you have all gifted me with your presence and like the song in Wicked says....because I've known you, I have been changed for good.
It is the people in our lives and their "presence" who make up the wonderful pieces of the complete puzzle we are and will become.
We take each piece and try to fit it into the different grooves until one day the puzzle is completed and our life becomes a final piece of art.
Sometimes, the pieces don't fit, (the negative pieces), but when the pieces that do fit (the positive pieces) the puzzle making becomes an amazing game, and as the pieces come together, it brings so much joy.
Today, I celebrate my parents who started the puzzle called "Kelly". I celebrate my siblings who were the first pieces that were added to my puzzle. My grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, I celebrate you. My childhood friends, my teen hood friends, my husband (one of my favorite pieces), my beautiful children, my grandson...you are all some of the best pieces that my puzzle is made up of. My adult hood friends, my work friends, my children's friends, my theater friends, my new and old friends, you and your presence in my life all make this puzzle making an everyday adventure, and I look forward to adding new pieces and new friends to the puzzle which is my life.
I am grateful for your "presence" and I thank you for all the Birthday messages I received today. I can't wait to keep adding pieces to my puzzle, and one day (many many years from now) when my puzzle is done, I hope you all see apart of yourselves in that puzzle.
Thank you for contributing to my piece of art.
I want to thank you all for your presents ("presence")
The gifts of your "presence" in my life.
Whether I've know you a moment, an hour, a week, a month, a year or a lifetime, you have all gifted me with your presence and like the song in Wicked says....because I've known you, I have been changed for good.
It is the people in our lives and their "presence" who make up the wonderful pieces of the complete puzzle we are and will become.
We take each piece and try to fit it into the different grooves until one day the puzzle is completed and our life becomes a final piece of art.
Sometimes, the pieces don't fit, (the negative pieces), but when the pieces that do fit (the positive pieces) the puzzle making becomes an amazing game, and as the pieces come together, it brings so much joy.
Today, I celebrate my parents who started the puzzle called "Kelly". I celebrate my siblings who were the first pieces that were added to my puzzle. My grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, I celebrate you. My childhood friends, my teen hood friends, my husband (one of my favorite pieces), my beautiful children, my grandson...you are all some of the best pieces that my puzzle is made up of. My adult hood friends, my work friends, my children's friends, my theater friends, my new and old friends, you and your presence in my life all make this puzzle making an everyday adventure, and I look forward to adding new pieces and new friends to the puzzle which is my life.
I am grateful for your "presence" and I thank you for all the Birthday messages I received today. I can't wait to keep adding pieces to my puzzle, and one day (many many years from now) when my puzzle is done, I hope you all see apart of yourselves in that puzzle.
Thank you for contributing to my piece of art.
Monday, February 8, 2016
Me and My Shadow
In keeping with my theme of gratefulness, I am writing my blog today in dedication to Shadows, and light.
Two weeks ago, I went to have my knee checked out for a torn miniscus. At that appointment, the x-ray showed a shadow on my femur. Then the MRI, Cat Scan and Bone Scan showed the same shadow.
What could this shadow mean....well, they sent me to an Orthopedic Oncologist to make sure that that shadow wasn't cancerous. I waited for over a week for the appointment with the Oncologist, and during that week, I went through a series of emotions.
The shadow on my femur, now became a shadow made up of worry, fear, depression, and many other emotions that come with the shadow of the unknown.
I tried to remain positive, and I know I had family and friends praying for me. The hard part of not knowing and waiting to get your results is the roller coaster of emotions you go through (not to mention the tons of food you eat to self medicate yourself)
How could I not remain positive? 11 years ago when my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer that went to her brain, she never once lost her sense of positivity. Was it her positive attitude, that made her survive the cancer, or was it fate. She just went with the flow, and today she is a walking miracle. We were blesssed. We are blessed. I am one of six children, my husband is one of five. We have healthy children, healthy parents,a healthy grandson, healthy siblings and healthy nieces and nephews.....I think this is where my fear came into play....
My mother lost her father at 52, her sister at 65, her brother at 42 ,her sister in law at 56, and her mother at 88. My father lost a sister in law,a brother in law, a nephew, his parents and other loved ones. And in my husbands family we lost his fathers parents, his mothers father, and we were blessed to have his grandmother till she was 102 years old. Loss is such a random thing in life, that when you have a shadow cast upon your health you do tend to worry, and wonder....when will our family be touched by loss again?
Today, the shadow was dispersed when the Oncologist confirmed that the light in the tumor shown on the MRI was just cartilage and not cancerous. Wow! What a relief. But how crazy is that. I am grateful to once again be blessed with a positive outcome. But I am also more sensitive to those who have not had the same good fortune. I will take this news and continue to have new adventures and make more memories. While doing so, I will continue to pray for strength for those who did not get good news in their time of shadows, that they too will be able to find some light to lift their spirit. I will remember loved ones who have passed and remember the light they brought into my life.
Me and my shadow, will continue to see light and love in each new day. I am grateful for today.
Blessings to all
Two weeks ago, I went to have my knee checked out for a torn miniscus. At that appointment, the x-ray showed a shadow on my femur. Then the MRI, Cat Scan and Bone Scan showed the same shadow.
What could this shadow mean....well, they sent me to an Orthopedic Oncologist to make sure that that shadow wasn't cancerous. I waited for over a week for the appointment with the Oncologist, and during that week, I went through a series of emotions.
The shadow on my femur, now became a shadow made up of worry, fear, depression, and many other emotions that come with the shadow of the unknown.
I tried to remain positive, and I know I had family and friends praying for me. The hard part of not knowing and waiting to get your results is the roller coaster of emotions you go through (not to mention the tons of food you eat to self medicate yourself)
How could I not remain positive? 11 years ago when my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer that went to her brain, she never once lost her sense of positivity. Was it her positive attitude, that made her survive the cancer, or was it fate. She just went with the flow, and today she is a walking miracle. We were blesssed. We are blessed. I am one of six children, my husband is one of five. We have healthy children, healthy parents,a healthy grandson, healthy siblings and healthy nieces and nephews.....I think this is where my fear came into play....
My mother lost her father at 52, her sister at 65, her brother at 42 ,her sister in law at 56, and her mother at 88. My father lost a sister in law,a brother in law, a nephew, his parents and other loved ones. And in my husbands family we lost his fathers parents, his mothers father, and we were blessed to have his grandmother till she was 102 years old. Loss is such a random thing in life, that when you have a shadow cast upon your health you do tend to worry, and wonder....when will our family be touched by loss again?
Today, the shadow was dispersed when the Oncologist confirmed that the light in the tumor shown on the MRI was just cartilage and not cancerous. Wow! What a relief. But how crazy is that. I am grateful to once again be blessed with a positive outcome. But I am also more sensitive to those who have not had the same good fortune. I will take this news and continue to have new adventures and make more memories. While doing so, I will continue to pray for strength for those who did not get good news in their time of shadows, that they too will be able to find some light to lift their spirit. I will remember loved ones who have passed and remember the light they brought into my life.
Me and my shadow, will continue to see light and love in each new day. I am grateful for today.
Blessings to all
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