My sister in-law recently posted on face book a video of my husbands 101 year old Grandmother dancing with a teddy bear that sings "That's Amore" on Christmas Eve. The video was so full of Christmas joy, and his grandmother personified that joy. Gram has seen 101 Christmas's come and go, and she has watched many of her loved ones pass away over the years, yet she celebrates life and continues to bless us with her "presence". "She" is the best Christmas present we receive from her each year when the presents are being passed around on Christmas Eve.
One day, she will not be present to celebrate Christmas with us, but the gift of her presence will live on in our hearts. She is my husbands past, my husbands present and my husband's future. Because of the gift she and Grandpa Vaudo gave to him. They gave him his mother, who in turn gave him life, and who in turn gave him to me, so that we could give our five children life. The present that keeps on giving.
We are truly blessed to have Gram, but we are also truly blessed to have had all of our ancestors. When our daughter Danielle was born in 1984, she had four grandparents, and 8 great grandparents living. We celebrated Christmas with all of them, and the gift of their presence in Danielle's life was priceless. I can remember Danielle singing to all of these grandparents and great grandparents, as soon as she learned to sing, and she gave all of them, the gift of song and her presence in their lives.
When I look back over the years, I see, my Nana and Grampy Dougherty's house with their Charlie Brown Christmas tree, and I can hear in my memories Bing Crosby singing in the back round, and Grampy singing along with him, while Nana puts the Roast Beef dinner on the table for our Christmas dinner. I see Nana and Werner (my step grandfather..my Grampy Feeley passed away when I was 4) Aunt Carol, Uncle Lou, Uncle Gary, Aunt Gina and our families celebrating Christmas Day at alternating houses year after year. I see Donnie and I heading over to Bedford on Christmas Eve after we had just been in Lincoln with my parents and my grandparents, to continue Christmas Eve with his parents and Grandparents. And then on Christmas Day, after being with my relatives, we would go over to his house and spend the rest of the day with his fathers parents, his mothers parents and his parents.
We did alot of running around back then, and at that went on for years until Ryan was born. After Ryan was born, the Holidays began to change. Great Grandpa died in 1988, and my grandfather Dougherty passed in 1993. Since then we lost all of our other grandparents, and Gram is our last surviving Grandparent, and our children's last living Great Grandparent. My mother has fought and beat her battle with Cancer, my father survived a double bypass, Donnie's father deals with diabetes, and his mom thankfully is in good health. We have been given some of the best Christmas presents any one could ever ask for ...we have been given the gift of all of these relatives "Presence" in our lives. They are our gifts that we treasure in our hearts not just at Christmas, but in every day, in every way. They are our past, our present and our future.
I write this as I was taught to write and taught my children to write Thank You notes whenever we received gifts. I write this as a Thank You to all of my relatives living and those who are no longer with us. Thank you (to all of our relatives) for the unending gift of your "Presence" in our lives.
Tonight is New Years Eve 2012 and as we go forward into 2013, lets remember to always be appreciative the gift of our loved ones "Presence" in our lives, whether they are still with us or in our memories.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Sunday, December 30, 2012
I Spy with my one good Eye
It's been awhile since I have done some blogging, but having just been on bed rest for over two weeks, I felt the urge to write.
A little over 4 weeks ago while making Christmas Cookies with our children and their grandparents, I mentioned out loud that I was seeing spots dancing around outside my right eye. My mother in-law told me that I was seeing floaters and it was a sign of aging. Seeing that I am a few months away from turning 50...this is not what I wanted to hear.
The floaters continued to get worse and I went to see my eye doctor who confirmed that I had a Vitreous detachment in my right eye, and yes it does seem to happen as you get older, but he assured me that in most cases the vitreous (floaters) would disappear and hopefully my eye would be fine. He also mentioned that in some cases there could be a chance that the Vitreous detachment could lead to a Retina detachment.
I went to work the next week, with the floaters still affecting my eyesight in my right eye, but as the week progressed, I began to see a very dark mountain type shape on the lower part of my eyesight...I could only partially see through my right eye. I assumed this was still the Vitreous detachment, but called the eye doctor to be on the safe side. After he examined me, he immediately called a Retina Specialist, and the next day, I was diagnosed with a Retina detachment, and had an emergency procedure done that same evening to try and repair the detachment.
It was a somewhat painful procedure, and after it was performed, I was then instructed to lie only on my left side with my head flat at all times, and I could only get up to go the bathroom and eat. Fortunately for me with only two weeks till Christmas, I had already finished all my shopping, all my wrapping,all the decorating, made and froze two pans of lasagna, two containers of sauce, and most of my baking was done. The hard part was being bedridden and learning to let others take over the running of my house and the rest of the Holiday preparations.
Danielle, our oldest daughter came in from NYC the night of my procedure, and Mary and Jane our other two daughters had just finished with their finals, and they all took over. Don had to go away on a business trip and he couldn't have left me in better hands. From my one eye, lying on the couch, I watched as my daughters kept up the house cleaning, made the dinners, did the laundry, finished my holiday baking, and basically took over as the "Mom" of the house. My son Michael would check in frequently and my son Ryan and his wife Annie brought me ice cream and she helped wrap the last couple of gifts for me. My friend Meryl and my friend Lori brought the family dinners, and my parents came by to entertain me with their company, and help out in whatever way they could. Prayers were being said for my eyesight, and for my Retina to heal, and I had to have faith that if I did what the doctor said, then my Retina would reattach, and my sight would return.
It has now been two days since I was allowed to sit up and move around. My Retina has healed, and I pray that it stays healed and that my other eye will remain unaffected. The fear of losing my sight taught me, that I shouldn't fear aging, I should appreciate each day, each sunrise, each sunset, and all the beauty that surrounds me. I saw even with my one working eye these last two weeks, the beauty and the love that is my supportive family and circle of friends. Eyes open has a new meaning for me, and even though my sight in my right eye will not return to normal for another month or so, I realize that when you see through the eyes of love, then your sight is never taken from you. My heart saw so much these last weeks, and I consider myself blessed to be able to truly "See" what is important in life.
P.S. Danielle, Mary, and Jane, you all stepped up to the plate these last weeks, and I just want to thank you three for all you did for me, and I love you very much....I think I've met my match in the three of you, or maybe it's just a testament to the saying that "The Apples didn't fall far from the Tree" You girls rock.
P.P.S For those of you who read this blog, please learn from my experience, and if you see black dots or floaters in the line of your vision, make sure to go to your Eye doctor and have your eyes checked out. Early detection can help prevent more serious Retina tears.
A little over 4 weeks ago while making Christmas Cookies with our children and their grandparents, I mentioned out loud that I was seeing spots dancing around outside my right eye. My mother in-law told me that I was seeing floaters and it was a sign of aging. Seeing that I am a few months away from turning 50...this is not what I wanted to hear.
The floaters continued to get worse and I went to see my eye doctor who confirmed that I had a Vitreous detachment in my right eye, and yes it does seem to happen as you get older, but he assured me that in most cases the vitreous (floaters) would disappear and hopefully my eye would be fine. He also mentioned that in some cases there could be a chance that the Vitreous detachment could lead to a Retina detachment.
I went to work the next week, with the floaters still affecting my eyesight in my right eye, but as the week progressed, I began to see a very dark mountain type shape on the lower part of my eyesight...I could only partially see through my right eye. I assumed this was still the Vitreous detachment, but called the eye doctor to be on the safe side. After he examined me, he immediately called a Retina Specialist, and the next day, I was diagnosed with a Retina detachment, and had an emergency procedure done that same evening to try and repair the detachment.
It was a somewhat painful procedure, and after it was performed, I was then instructed to lie only on my left side with my head flat at all times, and I could only get up to go the bathroom and eat. Fortunately for me with only two weeks till Christmas, I had already finished all my shopping, all my wrapping,all the decorating, made and froze two pans of lasagna, two containers of sauce, and most of my baking was done. The hard part was being bedridden and learning to let others take over the running of my house and the rest of the Holiday preparations.
Danielle, our oldest daughter came in from NYC the night of my procedure, and Mary and Jane our other two daughters had just finished with their finals, and they all took over. Don had to go away on a business trip and he couldn't have left me in better hands. From my one eye, lying on the couch, I watched as my daughters kept up the house cleaning, made the dinners, did the laundry, finished my holiday baking, and basically took over as the "Mom" of the house. My son Michael would check in frequently and my son Ryan and his wife Annie brought me ice cream and she helped wrap the last couple of gifts for me. My friend Meryl and my friend Lori brought the family dinners, and my parents came by to entertain me with their company, and help out in whatever way they could. Prayers were being said for my eyesight, and for my Retina to heal, and I had to have faith that if I did what the doctor said, then my Retina would reattach, and my sight would return.
It has now been two days since I was allowed to sit up and move around. My Retina has healed, and I pray that it stays healed and that my other eye will remain unaffected. The fear of losing my sight taught me, that I shouldn't fear aging, I should appreciate each day, each sunrise, each sunset, and all the beauty that surrounds me. I saw even with my one working eye these last two weeks, the beauty and the love that is my supportive family and circle of friends. Eyes open has a new meaning for me, and even though my sight in my right eye will not return to normal for another month or so, I realize that when you see through the eyes of love, then your sight is never taken from you. My heart saw so much these last weeks, and I consider myself blessed to be able to truly "See" what is important in life.
P.S. Danielle, Mary, and Jane, you all stepped up to the plate these last weeks, and I just want to thank you three for all you did for me, and I love you very much....I think I've met my match in the three of you, or maybe it's just a testament to the saying that "The Apples didn't fall far from the Tree" You girls rock.
P.P.S For those of you who read this blog, please learn from my experience, and if you see black dots or floaters in the line of your vision, make sure to go to your Eye doctor and have your eyes checked out. Early detection can help prevent more serious Retina tears.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
"Bookends"
Yesterday was my youngest child Jane's birthday. There are 10 years between our oldest and youngest children. Danielle is now 28 and our baby Jane is now 18. The "Bookends" We always called them this because, they looked so similar at birth, and their personalities were the same, and once we had Jane, we knew our family was complete.
Yesterday, I also spent the morning with my oldest brother Kevin (who was here visiting from Texas), my parents, my sisters Kerri and Kristin, and my youngest brother Kenny. (We missed you at Friendly's Keith, my other brother who lives in Washington). So interestingly enough, I spent the day with my parents "Bookends", their oldest and youngest child.
The books in between my bookends: Danielle (Michael, Ryan,Mary) Jane and the books in between my parents bookends: Kevin (Kelly, Kerri, Keith, Kristin) Kenny, make up years of stories, years of treasured memories, years of laughter and tears, joys and sorrows. Like any book on your bookshelf, they all tell a story.
At breakfast with my parents and siblings, we all shared some memories and had some laughs. As we were getting ready to leave, my brother Kevin said that these "moments" the unexpected gathering of family members, the business trip that brought him here for a quick visit, or any moment that we as a family are able to see each other, no matter how long the time is....these are the "moments" we should cherish.
I agree with my brother. I am very fortunate right now in my life, that very often, I am able to get all five of my children together around my table to share stories, laughter, and the sheer joy of being all together at the same time, but I know this is not always going to be that easy. As my children continue to grow, they will have families of their own, and they will be spending time at their own homes and tables surrounded by their children, and making their own new "moments" to cherish.
Life is a forward progression, and this is how it should be, so that is why when I get the chance to see one of my siblings, if even for a short visit, I cherish it, and I carry that snapshot of our time together in my heart. I have the memories of our childhood in my heart, and it is fun to relive some of those memories with my siblings when I see them, but I am also happy for them, that they are making their own new memories, "moments" and stories with their own families. The circle of life goes on.
I know it saddens my parents to see their children leave after a visit with them, but I am grateful that they have each other and their health. I see my parents now, and I see myself and Donnie in them. As Donnie and I become empty nesters, I see that it is hard to let your children go, but if you've done your job right, then your children are supposed to move on, and all you can wish for them, is that they are happy, and that they continue to create new stories for their own bookshelves. The bookshelves that will be filled with books made up of childhood memories, and the memories that they will make with their own families one day.
Bookends and the books in between, the stories of a lifetime. Cherish the "moments", and when you do have the chance to spend time with whether it be one sibling, all your siblings, your mother and father, grandparents, or any family member, take the time to relive the old stories, make new stories, and continue to fill your bookcase full of the stories of life.
On my bookshelf right now, there is only one Bookend....because I have a lot of stories yet to write, and fill with memories, and cherished moments. I hope one day when my final Bookend gets placed on the bookshelf, that my bookshelf will be overfilled with stories of love, and happiness, joys and sorrows, ups and downs, but a Story that will live on in the memories of my children, their children and their children's children....the circle of life, a forward progression.
Yesterday, I also spent the morning with my oldest brother Kevin (who was here visiting from Texas), my parents, my sisters Kerri and Kristin, and my youngest brother Kenny. (We missed you at Friendly's Keith, my other brother who lives in Washington). So interestingly enough, I spent the day with my parents "Bookends", their oldest and youngest child.
The books in between my bookends: Danielle (Michael, Ryan,Mary) Jane and the books in between my parents bookends: Kevin (Kelly, Kerri, Keith, Kristin) Kenny, make up years of stories, years of treasured memories, years of laughter and tears, joys and sorrows. Like any book on your bookshelf, they all tell a story.
At breakfast with my parents and siblings, we all shared some memories and had some laughs. As we were getting ready to leave, my brother Kevin said that these "moments" the unexpected gathering of family members, the business trip that brought him here for a quick visit, or any moment that we as a family are able to see each other, no matter how long the time is....these are the "moments" we should cherish.
I agree with my brother. I am very fortunate right now in my life, that very often, I am able to get all five of my children together around my table to share stories, laughter, and the sheer joy of being all together at the same time, but I know this is not always going to be that easy. As my children continue to grow, they will have families of their own, and they will be spending time at their own homes and tables surrounded by their children, and making their own new "moments" to cherish.
Life is a forward progression, and this is how it should be, so that is why when I get the chance to see one of my siblings, if even for a short visit, I cherish it, and I carry that snapshot of our time together in my heart. I have the memories of our childhood in my heart, and it is fun to relive some of those memories with my siblings when I see them, but I am also happy for them, that they are making their own new memories, "moments" and stories with their own families. The circle of life goes on.
I know it saddens my parents to see their children leave after a visit with them, but I am grateful that they have each other and their health. I see my parents now, and I see myself and Donnie in them. As Donnie and I become empty nesters, I see that it is hard to let your children go, but if you've done your job right, then your children are supposed to move on, and all you can wish for them, is that they are happy, and that they continue to create new stories for their own bookshelves. The bookshelves that will be filled with books made up of childhood memories, and the memories that they will make with their own families one day.
Bookends and the books in between, the stories of a lifetime. Cherish the "moments", and when you do have the chance to spend time with whether it be one sibling, all your siblings, your mother and father, grandparents, or any family member, take the time to relive the old stories, make new stories, and continue to fill your bookcase full of the stories of life.
On my bookshelf right now, there is only one Bookend....because I have a lot of stories yet to write, and fill with memories, and cherished moments. I hope one day when my final Bookend gets placed on the bookshelf, that my bookshelf will be overfilled with stories of love, and happiness, joys and sorrows, ups and downs, but a Story that will live on in the memories of my children, their children and their children's children....the circle of life, a forward progression.
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