Today's post is guest written by my husband, Donnie:
Pippin is a musical that has found its way into our lives on several occasions. My brother-in-law was in it in college. Our son Mike played the role of Pippin in middle school. I sometimes tend to oversimplify things, but I have long held the premise that the musical is all about one man's struggle to find the extraordinary in his everyday life.
I believe this is a struggle that many of us have as we go through life. As parents and mentors, we strive to enable the next generation to "do whatever they want to do" or "be whatever they want to be". This is a noble goal; but I see at least two flaws with this endeavor:
- The next generation has so many options, they frequently hesitate to pick one and start.
- A cloud of confusion is generated as to what it means to be extraordinary
It is the second item that Kelly and I were talking about today. Most of you probably know this, but I am currently in between jobs. I have been working hard to make sure I keep a schedule, make appointments to meet with people and fully exercise my network etc. But today was just BEAUTIFUL! Kelly came home from running errands and said, "Let's go for a ride on the bike". So we did. We rode out through Lincoln and Concord and went for a walk at the North Bridge. As we walked the grounds and realized what an extraordinary accomplishment those ordinary farmers accomplished at that bridge some 200 plus years ago, we talked about how happy we are that we have always been able to find the extraordinary in the ordinary everyday encounters. Our lives are complete and we have been able to enjoy our journey together because we both have the ability to see these things.
The celebration of a marriage, all the planning, and all the people you get to visit with - extraordinary.
The birth of a child, his/her first word, first step, even the first fall - extraordinary.
First day of kindergarten, little league championship, first day of dance, opening a recital, concert solos, a 25th anniversary... I could go on, but I would likely bore you and would run out of space. I think the key, at least for me is this. I have never felt like I "had to settle" or that I missed out on an opportunity to be extraordinary because I have cherished the extraordinary 'moments' that present themselves to me. For that and for the people in my life who have helped me with that, especially my best friend, my wife, Kelly - I am extraordinarily thankful.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
The Joy of growing up Poor
I was having breakfast in Concord Center yesterday with my sister Kerri at the Main Street Cafe. She is currently taking a writing course, and in this course you write about your memories. So as we sat there over our coffee, we began reminiscing about our childhood. She read one of her memory stories to me about when our family had to sell all our possessions and move to California. But we didn't know how poor we were, or why my mother had to sell all our possessions, we were just excited for a new adventure. There were only 5 of us six K's at the time, (Kevin, Kelly, Kerri, Keith, and Kristin....Kenny came along years later) and we lived in California for a little over a year, until our Dad lost his job, we had to sell all our things again, pack up our car and drive cross country back to Massachusetts. In Kerri's story she remembers, singing in the car, and my parents making up a song about cows (Moo Cow Moo Cow Moo Cow Cow) every time we saw cows we would laugh and sing that song over and over (ahh the joy of simple entertainment). We didn't have game boys or lap tops in those days, so made up songs, and coloring books and crayons had to suffice. One of my memories of that trip back to Mass. was that I heard my parents talk about running out of money, so when we got to Nevada, my Dad parked the car outside a Casino, and my mom went in and actually won money, so that we could eat and make it back home to my grandparents house in Lincoln where we lived until we got back on our feet, and my Dad got at job teaching and coaching.
My Dad ended up getting laid off from that teaching job, and the next years were tough. Now there were six mouths to feed, and my Dad went from job to job. Those were the "Lean Years", but we never knew it. My mother somehow made meals out of magic. One of my favorite meals was elbows macaroni with tomato soup on it. To this day I find myself craving that meal. What got us through those years were Angels. Angels in the guise of my great aunts, and gradparents who would send care packages of food to our house. Or Angels in the guise of wonderful friends named Russ and Ginny. Were it not for Russ, our family would have had many nights without heat. He built a wood stove out of an old furnace for our fireplace, and that wood stove kept us kids warm on many a cold night. My mother was also the Angel who got up all through the night to feed that furnace, so that we wouldn't feel the cold, she never once let on, how hard things were. We were fed, clothed and happy. My siblings and I never knew about all these Angels, we didn't even know we were poor.
As Kerri and I sat at the Main Street Cafe, one of my favorite memories was of this same spot that we were eating at. Our car had broken down right around the holidays, and my grandfather (another of our many Angels) loaned us his old red pick up truck, so that we could go to my other grandparents house for Christmas. There were 6 of us kids, my parents and a pick up truck. How were we all going to get to Maynard for the Holiday? Well, ...my mother and father, Kenny and Kristin all sat in the front of the truck, and Kevin, myself, Kerri and Keith all sat in the bed of the truck covered by tons of blankets, and a tarp covered the back of the truck bed. Why the tarp? Because this year it Snowed!! on Christmas Day.....and it Snowed a lot!!! As we made out way from Bedford to Maynard, we ended up making a quick stop at the store on Main Street in Concord which is now the Main Street Cafe. It was snowing so hard, and I can remember us kids poking our heads out from under the tarp....people must have thought my parents were crazy....but all I felt was Joy, it was Christmas Day, it was Snowing, and us kids were in the back of a truck under a tarp....a real adventure and a Christmas to remember for sure....there really was some joy in growing up poor!
My Dad ended up getting laid off from that teaching job, and the next years were tough. Now there were six mouths to feed, and my Dad went from job to job. Those were the "Lean Years", but we never knew it. My mother somehow made meals out of magic. One of my favorite meals was elbows macaroni with tomato soup on it. To this day I find myself craving that meal. What got us through those years were Angels. Angels in the guise of my great aunts, and gradparents who would send care packages of food to our house. Or Angels in the guise of wonderful friends named Russ and Ginny. Were it not for Russ, our family would have had many nights without heat. He built a wood stove out of an old furnace for our fireplace, and that wood stove kept us kids warm on many a cold night. My mother was also the Angel who got up all through the night to feed that furnace, so that we wouldn't feel the cold, she never once let on, how hard things were. We were fed, clothed and happy. My siblings and I never knew about all these Angels, we didn't even know we were poor.
As Kerri and I sat at the Main Street Cafe, one of my favorite memories was of this same spot that we were eating at. Our car had broken down right around the holidays, and my grandfather (another of our many Angels) loaned us his old red pick up truck, so that we could go to my other grandparents house for Christmas. There were 6 of us kids, my parents and a pick up truck. How were we all going to get to Maynard for the Holiday? Well, ...my mother and father, Kenny and Kristin all sat in the front of the truck, and Kevin, myself, Kerri and Keith all sat in the bed of the truck covered by tons of blankets, and a tarp covered the back of the truck bed. Why the tarp? Because this year it Snowed!! on Christmas Day.....and it Snowed a lot!!! As we made out way from Bedford to Maynard, we ended up making a quick stop at the store on Main Street in Concord which is now the Main Street Cafe. It was snowing so hard, and I can remember us kids poking our heads out from under the tarp....people must have thought my parents were crazy....but all I felt was Joy, it was Christmas Day, it was Snowing, and us kids were in the back of a truck under a tarp....a real adventure and a Christmas to remember for sure....there really was some joy in growing up poor!
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
The Looking Glass
If only our mirrors could talk. We look into the looking glass and see only our reflection, but if we really looked close enough would it be possible to see our souls. Would that we could see our true selves, the good the bad and the ugly. We would be able to see the bad and ugly reflecting back at us, and we wouldn't be able to ignore it, we would have to face it head on, and work to make that reflection become clear again, so that we could turn the bad and ugly into the "good" part of ourselves..
When I look in the mirror these days, I see myself clearly, and I am at peace with my reflection, because I accept myself for who I am and I am okay with the good the bad and the ugly. Those three parts of me are all blended together and somehow make me who I am, and I like to think that the good controls the other two parts, and comes out on top..
However, I have also been around long enough to know that sometimes despite our best efforts, we still see things as we want to see them. So, I am careful to make sure that as I look upon my reflection, I also balance what I see against what feedback I get from others.
If we were all honest with our reflections and the feedback we get from others, then I believe the "Good" would continue to win out, and our souls would be at peace. So when we looked into the looking glass...we would all be "Beautiful"
When I look in the mirror these days, I see myself clearly, and I am at peace with my reflection, because I accept myself for who I am and I am okay with the good the bad and the ugly. Those three parts of me are all blended together and somehow make me who I am, and I like to think that the good controls the other two parts, and comes out on top..
However, I have also been around long enough to know that sometimes despite our best efforts, we still see things as we want to see them. So, I am careful to make sure that as I look upon my reflection, I also balance what I see against what feedback I get from others.
If we were all honest with our reflections and the feedback we get from others, then I believe the "Good" would continue to win out, and our souls would be at peace. So when we looked into the looking glass...we would all be "Beautiful"
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Kiss it and make it better
When a child is young and they fall and hurt themselves....a mother kisses the boo boo and makes it better. Its a magical kiss, that somehow makes the pain go away, and makes the child smile again.
As the child gets older, the magic of those kisses somehow seems to fade. Its not as easy to kiss away your child's pain, even though the mother wishes with all her heart, that she can somehow recreate that magic and make that child smile again.
As the child grows into adulthood, the child still falls down at times, and mothers instinct instantly sets in, and you wish with all your heart that your child was little again, and all you would have to do is kiss the boo boo away.
Well, the magic of the boo boo kisses may not be the same as your child grows up, but the love and protective instinct is always there, and though your child may not know it, we mothers are still giving you those magical kisses, even if they are only in our minds. Our kisses are magical, because when you hurt, we hurt, when you cry, we cry, when you are sad, we are sad. When you are happy, we feel joy, all these emotions that you are feeling we feel too.
We are connected because of our unconditional love for you. From the first time we hold you in our arms, kiss your little fingers and toes, and breathe in the magic that is you, our mothers love and instinct kicks in, and the magic of those boo boo kisses begins. We may not always be able to kiss it and make it better or make you smile again, but that's not for lack of trying, and even if you don't realize it, for as long as you live we will always be there if you ever need a mothers magical kiss to make you smile again. (LOVE)
As the child gets older, the magic of those kisses somehow seems to fade. Its not as easy to kiss away your child's pain, even though the mother wishes with all her heart, that she can somehow recreate that magic and make that child smile again.
As the child grows into adulthood, the child still falls down at times, and mothers instinct instantly sets in, and you wish with all your heart that your child was little again, and all you would have to do is kiss the boo boo away.
Well, the magic of the boo boo kisses may not be the same as your child grows up, but the love and protective instinct is always there, and though your child may not know it, we mothers are still giving you those magical kisses, even if they are only in our minds. Our kisses are magical, because when you hurt, we hurt, when you cry, we cry, when you are sad, we are sad. When you are happy, we feel joy, all these emotions that you are feeling we feel too.
We are connected because of our unconditional love for you. From the first time we hold you in our arms, kiss your little fingers and toes, and breathe in the magic that is you, our mothers love and instinct kicks in, and the magic of those boo boo kisses begins. We may not always be able to kiss it and make it better or make you smile again, but that's not for lack of trying, and even if you don't realize it, for as long as you live we will always be there if you ever need a mothers magical kiss to make you smile again. (LOVE)
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Pay "Your Education Forward"
Today we went to Fenway Park for a Mass Celebrating 150 years of Boston College and Boston College High School. Our daughter Mary was singing in the B.C. Chorale at the Mass., in front of over 20,000 people. Before we went to this Mass, we went and saw our son Michael's band "The WonderMics perform on the Boston Common as the opening act for Boston's Freedom Rally, also in front of 20,000 people. It was a day full of pride for us and also full of music.
At the Mass, the priest who said the homily, spoke of a core principal of Catholicism. Paraphrasing, that principle is," If you hold on to something and refuse to let it go, you are sure to lose it. But if you give of it freely, trying to give all you have, then you will keep it forever." He said that the Jesuits apply this principle to many things, but today's focus is education, as a result of celebrating B.C's Sesquicentennial (150 years). He mentioned, that no amount of prestige, no amount of money, not who you know, what your title is or even "where"you got your education, is as important, as taking what you have learned and sharing it with others. That is truly the gift of education....Pay it forward.
When I thought about this, I knew that my High School friend was sitting somewhere in the Fenway stands, and I realized that she (who is a B.C. graduate) shared her education freely with my own family. She was working as a nurse, when I had my second child in 1986. He was a scheduled C-section, and I asked her if she would be present at his birth. She said yes and then proceeded to be present at births of our final four children. So much so, that when we had our third child, I asked her to be his godmother. He was born very sick and was given a 5% chance of living. Because she was there, she was present for his quick baptism shortly after he was born. We are truly blessed for having her in our lives, and she took her nursing education and shared it with us.
I used to feel like I was missing something, because I did not finish College. But I realized today, that while I didn't have a formal degree to share, I had some learned experiences with Music, that I in turn shared with my children. Today, I saw the returns of my giving my love of music to my children, in their performances. I gave it freely, and I will keep the memories of my children's performances today forever. They were sharing their music with others, paying it forward.
Pay your education forward, be it a College education, or the Education of everyday life. It is a gift to share, not to hold onto.
At the Mass, the priest who said the homily, spoke of a core principal of Catholicism. Paraphrasing, that principle is," If you hold on to something and refuse to let it go, you are sure to lose it. But if you give of it freely, trying to give all you have, then you will keep it forever." He said that the Jesuits apply this principle to many things, but today's focus is education, as a result of celebrating B.C's Sesquicentennial (150 years). He mentioned, that no amount of prestige, no amount of money, not who you know, what your title is or even "where"you got your education, is as important, as taking what you have learned and sharing it with others. That is truly the gift of education....Pay it forward.
When I thought about this, I knew that my High School friend was sitting somewhere in the Fenway stands, and I realized that she (who is a B.C. graduate) shared her education freely with my own family. She was working as a nurse, when I had my second child in 1986. He was a scheduled C-section, and I asked her if she would be present at his birth. She said yes and then proceeded to be present at births of our final four children. So much so, that when we had our third child, I asked her to be his godmother. He was born very sick and was given a 5% chance of living. Because she was there, she was present for his quick baptism shortly after he was born. We are truly blessed for having her in our lives, and she took her nursing education and shared it with us.
I used to feel like I was missing something, because I did not finish College. But I realized today, that while I didn't have a formal degree to share, I had some learned experiences with Music, that I in turn shared with my children. Today, I saw the returns of my giving my love of music to my children, in their performances. I gave it freely, and I will keep the memories of my children's performances today forever. They were sharing their music with others, paying it forward.
Pay your education forward, be it a College education, or the Education of everyday life. It is a gift to share, not to hold onto.
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Fall
Recently my little sister asked me what happiness was. I told her my happiness comes from the things I am most grateful for. And one of the things that I am grateful for and brings me happiness is the New England Seasons.
Fall, makes me happy. Its the crisp fresh smell of an Autumn morning. The little bit of chill in the air that makes you want to wrap yourself up in a cozy blanket read a book and enjoy a nice cup of tea.
It's apple picking, pumpkins, and the colorful leaves that fall from the trees. I love the smell of a fresh apple pie baking in the oven. It tickles my senses and brings me a quiet sense of joy and appreciation for the wonderful season of Fall.
The gratitude and sense of happiness flows through this season, and lands on the holiday where families gather together to show their gratefulness (Thanksgiving). A time of laughter, family and friends. All these things bring make me happy.
Each season, each day, each hour, each minute....find the time to be grateful for at least one thing, and that gratefulness will multiply and bring you happiness. This blog is dedicated to you, little sister, because, I am grateful for having you in my life, and I wish you the gift of Fall, and the gift of Happiness.
Fall, makes me happy. Its the crisp fresh smell of an Autumn morning. The little bit of chill in the air that makes you want to wrap yourself up in a cozy blanket read a book and enjoy a nice cup of tea.
It's apple picking, pumpkins, and the colorful leaves that fall from the trees. I love the smell of a fresh apple pie baking in the oven. It tickles my senses and brings me a quiet sense of joy and appreciation for the wonderful season of Fall.
The gratitude and sense of happiness flows through this season, and lands on the holiday where families gather together to show their gratefulness (Thanksgiving). A time of laughter, family and friends. All these things bring make me happy.
Each season, each day, each hour, each minute....find the time to be grateful for at least one thing, and that gratefulness will multiply and bring you happiness. This blog is dedicated to you, little sister, because, I am grateful for having you in my life, and I wish you the gift of Fall, and the gift of Happiness.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Life is Short
Life is short, but if we fill our lives with taking time to enjoy each and every moment of our lives, then the longness or shortness of life won't really matter. It seems like only yesterday, that Donnie and I were taking our 17 year old daughter Danielle off to College. I blinked and now last week we were taking our 17 year old youngest daughter Jane off to College. I don't know where the time went, but I do know, that in these last ten years between the two of them heading off to College, we saw three of our other children off to College, and now they are all adults.
Is life really short? did ten years fly by? I don't really think so, because Donnie and I have so many wonderful memories of these past 10 years ( or actually 27 years) of raising our children into the adults they are today, that time doesn't seem short necessarily, it seems to just keep moving forward.
Donnie wrote on his fb page about the forward progression of life, and I think it is natural and normal to watch our children grow, and become adults, with thoughts and ideas of their own, and each one of them has a different path that they are following. I don't feel old, I close my eyes and I can still see each of the kids first steps, first falls, first milestones....but now I see new first steps, first falls, and new milestones. So how can life be short if these things are all still happening. Forward Progression.....I plan on enjoying each and every moment moving forward in life. I won't take it for granted, and I will appreciate my life for however long I live. We only get to do this once, so whether its 50 or 100 years, my life won't be short because I am living it to the fullest.
Is life really short? did ten years fly by? I don't really think so, because Donnie and I have so many wonderful memories of these past 10 years ( or actually 27 years) of raising our children into the adults they are today, that time doesn't seem short necessarily, it seems to just keep moving forward.
Donnie wrote on his fb page about the forward progression of life, and I think it is natural and normal to watch our children grow, and become adults, with thoughts and ideas of their own, and each one of them has a different path that they are following. I don't feel old, I close my eyes and I can still see each of the kids first steps, first falls, first milestones....but now I see new first steps, first falls, and new milestones. So how can life be short if these things are all still happening. Forward Progression.....I plan on enjoying each and every moment moving forward in life. I won't take it for granted, and I will appreciate my life for however long I live. We only get to do this once, so whether its 50 or 100 years, my life won't be short because I am living it to the fullest.
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