Its been awhile since I have blogged, but this blog had to be written.
Yesterday, I was driving by Calvary cemetery where my grandparents and many relatives are buried. I noticed the gate was open, so I decided to drive through the short cut to my house and say a quick hello to my grandparents.
As I was taking the turn into the cemetery, I heard the sound of a bikes bell, and I looked across the street and saw a grayish haired man in a green winter jacket....I looked quickly at the man, and he reminded me so much of my cousin Patrick, who passed away tragically at 50 years old. At that moment I was struck, by the sound of the bell, the cemetery where our grandparents were buried, and I said out loud....Hello Patrick, I'm thinking of you today. I feel as if his spirit was there and he was saying hello.
This story from yesterday ties in to my story of today.
This morning I was at a local Ford dealership, having new tires put on my car. I was sitting in the waiting room next to a mother and her 9 year old son, and watching how the mother was telling her son to look up from his phone and acknowledge the elderly employee of Ford as she was asking him if he wanted anything to drink or eat. She went on to tell him to pay attention and say please and thank you.
While I was still sitting there, I opened an email from a Womens group that I am part of. This group at Christmas time gets together and buys gifts for children in DCF. Last year I chose a young child, but this year I wanted to give to a teenager, because sometimes I think they get forgotten. I chose a 15 year old whose name was Angel. As I went on Amazon to order a gift for him, I noticed he wanted a certain book....because I didn't know what books he had already read, I bought him the entire series. I hope it brings him joy. Books are such a beautiful way to expand your mind and imagination.
After I comlpeted my order, I saw the mechanic come in to the waiting room and tell the young mother next to me, that her car needed a new battery. Immediately, I saw her worry, as she said she needed to call her father to talk about it. I watched as she tried to reach her father, while her son sat beside her....and I saw her legs shaking as she put her head down waiting to hear back from her father. I texted my husband and told him what I saw....I said, we've been there before, worried about how to pay for car work and not having the money to pay for it. I told him, I wanted to offer to pay for it. He said of course and sent me an emoji of an angel.
I quietly got up, and pretended to go to the restroom. I went to the front desk and asked to speak with the mechanic. I told him I wanted to pay for this womans battery, but no need to tell her. His mangager came out, and said, thank you, and people don't often do things like this, so he wanted to pay it forward and he said because of my gesture, Ford wanted to pay for her battery and car work. I told him that was not necessary, I wanted to pay, but he said in the giving spirit, Ford wanted to do this. I went back to sit and wait for my tires to be done.
I saw the mechanic gesture for the woman to come out to the hallway. When she came back in, she embraced me while crying and thanked me for my kindness. She said she has been struggling to pay bills, living paycheck to paycheck. Her son has been being bullied at school, and her life has been difficult. I told her, I have been in her shoes, and I just wanted to help out one mother to another. We talked some more and then I also told her to thank Ford, because, they ended up paying for everything. She said, yes, but that is because of your kindness. We got to talking and her son asked why she was crying, she turned to her son and said, " because Angel, we have just met a true Angel." Her 9 year old sons name was Angel.
As I was leaving she gave me her number and name and said if I ever needed anything to please call her. We hugged again and I went to pay for my tires. Ford ended up paying for the labor part of my bill as a thank you for giving the staff there a Holiday feeling of Giving. I said no need, but they wanted to pay it forward again. I waved goodbye to the mother and her son Angel, got in my car and cried.
When I got home and shared all this with my husband, we put the names together, Angel the 15 year old boy in DCF and Angel the 9 year old boy with his mother.....My Uncle Pat who is here visiting after I told him the story of the cemetery visit, the man who reminded me of his son Patrick and the bells, reminded me of It's a Wonderful Life, where a bell rings and an Angel gets its wings. I believe I was surrounded by Angles in these last two days....One Angel is my cousin Patrick whose soul and spirit still surrounds us, the other Angels are those two boys.
I believe in Angels.
This blog has always been about gratitude, and today I am grateful for Angels who are with us here on earth and with us in spirit.
Tuesday, November 12, 2019
Monday, October 1, 2018
A Magic Wand
If I had a magic wand, there are so many ways I would use it.
I would magically make time go by a little slower, so I could spend more time with friends and family, make each moment count and leave no conversation unhad.
I would magically bring back loved ones who have passed, so that I could ask them all the unanswered questions that were left behind in their passing.
I would magically make it so my cousins and Aunts and Uncles didn't live so far away, so we could share our families and our life stories with each other and look back and be grateful for those who made our lives possible.
I would magically ask for forgiveness for all the wrongs I may or may not know that I have done to my loved ones, I would ask that it didn't have to be so hard to say, yes I was wrong and yes I am sorry. Forgiveness is magic in itself.
We all have those things that we hold in and wish we could go back in time and fix. We all hold some forms or resentments, memories, hurt feelings, and issues that we could've, should've and would've done better had we been given a do over. My magic wand would mend those feelings, so that the magic of forgiveness, love and freedom would take their place.
Whether you believe in God, a higher being, science, or magic, somehow all these beings or things lead to the same thing....We are here on this earth because of them, and whether there is an after life or nothing at all, we are all on borrowed time, and I would like my magic wand to cast a spell that we all live our time and the time we are given, with forgiveness, love, respect, kindness and peace.
For me sometimes I use Face Book as a Magic Wand....I know I post a lot of pictures, and I don't expect everyone to look at them or even like them. I like Face Book because it connects me to the people that I don't get to see or spend time with. I love seeing the pictures of my cousins and their growing families. I love seeing pics of my nieces, nephews, friends and family smiling and laughing and making memories.
No one lives a perfect life, no one is happy all the time, but lets face it, I would much rather see smiling and laughing and love on face book.....there is way too much sadness in the world, so why not spread joy.
Even when people post about their loved ones who have passed, there is sadness in their passing, but the pictures are shared as a way to remember the joy and love those loved ones gave us in their time here on earth. I appreciate those pictures posted, because remembering those loved ones is a way of honoring them.
Lets all take our Magic Wands and create magic in our lives. Share that magic whether it be via face book, instagram, snapchat, a handwritten letter, a phone call, or an impromptu visit to a friend or family member that you have lost touch with. Converse with each other, ask questions about each others lives, ask for forgiveness if you feel you need it. Make moments count. Be Grateful and Spread Peace
If I had a magic wand, there are so many ways I would use it.
I would magically make time go by a little slower, so I could spend more time with friends and family, make each moment count and leave no conversation unhad.
I would magically bring back loved ones who have passed, so that I could ask them all the unanswered questions that were left behind in their passing.
I would magically make it so my cousins and Aunts and Uncles didn't live so far away, so we could share our families and our life stories with each other and look back and be grateful for those who made our lives possible.
I would magically ask for forgiveness for all the wrongs I may or may not know that I have done to my loved ones, I would ask that it didn't have to be so hard to say, yes I was wrong and yes I am sorry. Forgiveness is magic in itself.
We all have those things that we hold in and wish we could go back in time and fix. We all hold some forms or resentments, memories, hurt feelings, and issues that we could've, should've and would've done better had we been given a do over. My magic wand would mend those feelings, so that the magic of forgiveness, love and freedom would take their place.
Whether you believe in God, a higher being, science, or magic, somehow all these beings or things lead to the same thing....We are here on this earth because of them, and whether there is an after life or nothing at all, we are all on borrowed time, and I would like my magic wand to cast a spell that we all live our time and the time we are given, with forgiveness, love, respect, kindness and peace.
For me sometimes I use Face Book as a Magic Wand....I know I post a lot of pictures, and I don't expect everyone to look at them or even like them. I like Face Book because it connects me to the people that I don't get to see or spend time with. I love seeing the pictures of my cousins and their growing families. I love seeing pics of my nieces, nephews, friends and family smiling and laughing and making memories.
No one lives a perfect life, no one is happy all the time, but lets face it, I would much rather see smiling and laughing and love on face book.....there is way too much sadness in the world, so why not spread joy.
Even when people post about their loved ones who have passed, there is sadness in their passing, but the pictures are shared as a way to remember the joy and love those loved ones gave us in their time here on earth. I appreciate those pictures posted, because remembering those loved ones is a way of honoring them.
Lets all take our Magic Wands and create magic in our lives. Share that magic whether it be via face book, instagram, snapchat, a handwritten letter, a phone call, or an impromptu visit to a friend or family member that you have lost touch with. Converse with each other, ask questions about each others lives, ask for forgiveness if you feel you need it. Make moments count. Be Grateful and Spread Peace
Monday, July 9, 2018
Island Time
Island Time
There is no time on an Island,
just sun, sand and reflection..
Reflecting on all Gods gifts,
and the beauty that surrounds us
There is no time on an Island,
just peace, tranquility and perspective.
Perspective in believing in the goodness of all people,
and believing in the kindness and humanity of all.
There is no time on an Island,
days just seem to pass by.
Pass by in moments of joy, moments of sadness,
moments of an array of all human emotions.
There is no time on an Island,
time is measured in truths.
Truth that the air we breathe and the beauty that surrounds us
is a gift we all should treasure.
Island time, land time, daytime,nighttime...all time
should be cherished, and each moment, each second,
each minute, each hour should never be wasted.
Live your Life on Island Time
Be grateful for each day, live in Peace
Wednesday, January 24, 2018
Super Hero's
I haven't blogged in quite awhile. Today, I was catching up on all my DVR'd recordings of CW's Super Hero shows. Flash, SuperGirl, Arrow, Legends of Tomorrow, and now Black Lightening.
As I watched these shows, I began to get a feeling of overwhelming anxiety. It was anxiety, but I knew exactly why I was feeling this way. As Black Lightening was fighting the issue of gangs, and the danger in his neighborhood, Super Girl was joining forces with some of her nemesis's to try and save the world, and Arrow was making peace with his team of Super Hero's to fight injustices and crime. A recurring theme. Good vs. Evil, Wrong vs. Right, Love vs. Hate....themes that all essentially lead to Humanity.
I shut the television off and thought to myself....our World needs a Super Hero, or a band of Super Heros. The news is filled with constant reminders of similar themes....Political Parties verses each other, Countries verses each other, People verses each other.....so much venom being spewed back and forth.....and yet, I still believe in Humanity and the Good in people.
As I pondered this, I realized that our world does have Super Hero's, and they too are fighting the same fights and battles that the CW Super Hero's fight. Our hero's don't wear costumes to hide who they are, they are there for all of us to see. Our Hero's are the men and women who serve in our Military, our First Responders, our men in Blue, our Firefighters, our Doctors,Nurses, EMT's, Paremedics, teachers, educators and more. They are our single Mothers and Fathers who are working three jobs to give our future generation of children a chance. Our Family members and Friends who step in to lend a hand to their loved ones in need. Our Spiritual leaders, who pray for us and with us. And yes too, they are many of our Political leaders who are fighting for us and with us to make this World a better place.
It doesn"t matter your politcal party, your race, or your religion. What matters is that we all have the ability to be Hero's....We march together in this one life, and we start one step at a time, one good deed at a time, shrouded with a Hero's cape called Humanity.
I make a point of expressing gratitude on this blog and today I am particularly grateful for all of everyday Super Hero's
As I watched these shows, I began to get a feeling of overwhelming anxiety. It was anxiety, but I knew exactly why I was feeling this way. As Black Lightening was fighting the issue of gangs, and the danger in his neighborhood, Super Girl was joining forces with some of her nemesis's to try and save the world, and Arrow was making peace with his team of Super Hero's to fight injustices and crime. A recurring theme. Good vs. Evil, Wrong vs. Right, Love vs. Hate....themes that all essentially lead to Humanity.
I shut the television off and thought to myself....our World needs a Super Hero, or a band of Super Heros. The news is filled with constant reminders of similar themes....Political Parties verses each other, Countries verses each other, People verses each other.....so much venom being spewed back and forth.....and yet, I still believe in Humanity and the Good in people.
As I pondered this, I realized that our world does have Super Hero's, and they too are fighting the same fights and battles that the CW Super Hero's fight. Our hero's don't wear costumes to hide who they are, they are there for all of us to see. Our Hero's are the men and women who serve in our Military, our First Responders, our men in Blue, our Firefighters, our Doctors,Nurses, EMT's, Paremedics, teachers, educators and more. They are our single Mothers and Fathers who are working three jobs to give our future generation of children a chance. Our Family members and Friends who step in to lend a hand to their loved ones in need. Our Spiritual leaders, who pray for us and with us. And yes too, they are many of our Political leaders who are fighting for us and with us to make this World a better place.
It doesn"t matter your politcal party, your race, or your religion. What matters is that we all have the ability to be Hero's....We march together in this one life, and we start one step at a time, one good deed at a time, shrouded with a Hero's cape called Humanity.
I make a point of expressing gratitude on this blog and today I am particularly grateful for all of everyday Super Hero's
Thursday, March 16, 2017
TRADITION
Tradidion: the handing down of information, beliefs, or customs from one generation to another, especially by word of mouth or by practice.
I am currently in a production of Fiddler on the Roof, which is a show whose primary theme is about Tradition.
I was unable to perform in one of the days of our production, because I had a long standing commitment to my husbands family and to one of their ancestral Traditions called Carnivale. It is a tradition that began with my husbands Grandfather and Grandmother from Gaeta, Italy, and now reaches through the generations to their children, their grandchildren, great grandchildren and now great great grandchildren.
We gather together and sing a song that tells the story of Carnivale, and each year the song has new verses added to it, telling the stories and milestones of each new family member that is born into the family. This song is a testament to my husbands grandparents and to their tradition of gathering their family together around a table where we eat homemade ravioli, meatballs and sausage.
Tomorrow, I will gather with my family, where my parents will make almost 30 pounds of corned beef and cabbage and we will all gather and laugh, tell stories and bask in the joy of being together. This tradition is not as old as my husbands Carnivale, but that is the joy of Traditions, we can constantly reinvent Traditions and mix the old with the new.
To me Tradition means:
T- togetherness (as a family, a community, a circle of friends, when two or more gather....we share beliefs, information and customs....Tradition)
R- revelry (finding joy in the art of being together, enjoying each others presence, laughing crying, storytelling...we revel in our Traditions)
A- attention (taking the time to pay attention, to listen and hear each other, telling stories of old, and stories of new, the stories are what create the Traditions)
D- dedication (being true to your word, and following through on being there for each other in good times and in bad, understanding that some traditions stay the same, some fade, but we can be dedicated to creating new versions of old Traditions, keeping some Traditions the same, and creating brand new Traditons)
I- insight (knowing instinctively to respect our elders, and their stories. To know, that they are who we come from,and we owe it to them to pass their stories on from generation to generation)
T- time (make time matter, spend time with loved ones and show your gratitude for all who came before us and all who will come after)
I- inclusion (include everyone, don't hold grudges, forgive, welcome the new Traditions that are created, and value the Traditions of old. Change is hard sometimes, but if you include the nuances of old Traditions when creating new Traditions every one from generation to generation will be included)
O- openess (open your heart, your arms, your eyes and your home to the beauty and joy of Traditions)
N- notetake (take note of the folklore, listen to your elders, their stories are your stories, and your stories will become your next generations stories....and so the stories go on, and on, and though the Traditions may change from generation to generation, the fiber of those Traditions will be woven in the memories of those yet to come)
I am currently in a production of Fiddler on the Roof, which is a show whose primary theme is about Tradition.
I was unable to perform in one of the days of our production, because I had a long standing commitment to my husbands family and to one of their ancestral Traditions called Carnivale. It is a tradition that began with my husbands Grandfather and Grandmother from Gaeta, Italy, and now reaches through the generations to their children, their grandchildren, great grandchildren and now great great grandchildren.
We gather together and sing a song that tells the story of Carnivale, and each year the song has new verses added to it, telling the stories and milestones of each new family member that is born into the family. This song is a testament to my husbands grandparents and to their tradition of gathering their family together around a table where we eat homemade ravioli, meatballs and sausage.
Tomorrow, I will gather with my family, where my parents will make almost 30 pounds of corned beef and cabbage and we will all gather and laugh, tell stories and bask in the joy of being together. This tradition is not as old as my husbands Carnivale, but that is the joy of Traditions, we can constantly reinvent Traditions and mix the old with the new.
To me Tradition means:
T- togetherness (as a family, a community, a circle of friends, when two or more gather....we share beliefs, information and customs....Tradition)
R- revelry (finding joy in the art of being together, enjoying each others presence, laughing crying, storytelling...we revel in our Traditions)
A- attention (taking the time to pay attention, to listen and hear each other, telling stories of old, and stories of new, the stories are what create the Traditions)
D- dedication (being true to your word, and following through on being there for each other in good times and in bad, understanding that some traditions stay the same, some fade, but we can be dedicated to creating new versions of old Traditions, keeping some Traditions the same, and creating brand new Traditons)
I- insight (knowing instinctively to respect our elders, and their stories. To know, that they are who we come from,and we owe it to them to pass their stories on from generation to generation)
T- time (make time matter, spend time with loved ones and show your gratitude for all who came before us and all who will come after)
I- inclusion (include everyone, don't hold grudges, forgive, welcome the new Traditions that are created, and value the Traditions of old. Change is hard sometimes, but if you include the nuances of old Traditions when creating new Traditions every one from generation to generation will be included)
O- openess (open your heart, your arms, your eyes and your home to the beauty and joy of Traditions)
N- notetake (take note of the folklore, listen to your elders, their stories are your stories, and your stories will become your next generations stories....and so the stories go on, and on, and though the Traditions may change from generation to generation, the fiber of those Traditions will be woven in the memories of those yet to come)
Sunday, November 27, 2016
The Gift
Today is my Daughter Danielle's Birthday. For her Birthday, she asked us for only one gift. She asked us to attend Church with her for her Birthday. My husband was traveling for business, so I told her I would go to Mass with her.
I will admit, I have not been to Church in a very long time. Not since they closed my Parish, joined Parishes, and then actually reopened the Church that for so much of my life was a Home to me and my family. My faith has never waivered and my closeness to God is not measured by whether or not I attend Church. In fact, my husband and I miss our old Parish very much, but when the Churches merged, and our Pastor left, we almost felt a sense of homelessness, and we actually stopped attending our old Parish.
Today, for the first time in a very long time....I felt at home. St. Cecilia's in Boston and Father Unni, brought back so many memories for me, and it was nice to feel a sense of being home again.
My gift to Danielle, actually became a Gift to me. So much so that when I walked into the Church with my daughters Danielle and Mary we were greeted and asked to bring up the Gifts....Ironic. Another gift of the day, was the priests homily....it was about living a life to the fullest, with no regrets, because we actually never know when our time is up, so we should live our life as best as we can, and surround ourselves with positivity, forgiveness and love.
There were messages in the homily and in sitting in St. Cecilia's that touched my heart. When I walked into the Church I saw behind the altar a very large picture of The Last Supper.....my Dougherty grandparents had this picture always hanging behind their couch in the living room when I was growing up, and so many memories of my faith and my religious upbringing come from my Nana and Grampy Dougherty who were very involved in their church..In fact, I believe they are my first memories of a Church being a place to call home. Then after communion, I looked above that picture, and there she was.... a statue of The Blessed Mother, another inspirational message, because I have always called to her in times of need and in times of gratitude and both of my grandmothers had a closeness to Mary, that I have carried that closeness in my heart as well.
All these messages reminded me of why I loved going to St. Bernard's and being a part of that Parish Family. I wish that Donnie had been with us today, because I know his heart would have been feeling the same things my heart felt today.
I don't know if I will ever go back to our original Parish, but I do know this...for anyone who has left the Church....there is always a home out there for you. St. Cecilia's reminded me of this today. Will I start going back every Sunday? I don't quite know, but I feel comfort in knowing that two of my daughters have found a place that feels like home to them, and I do believe I will go back from time to time with them to this very beautiful church. And I have faith that there is always a home out there waiting to welcome back anyone who has left and who wants to go home again.
I have no regrets, I live my life with love and gratitude...I cherish each day as a Gift, and today, I am grateful to my beautiful daughter who on her Birthday gave me the gift of remembering what it felt like to have a home in a Parish.
I have always used this blog as a venue for gratitude, and I have already thanked Danielle, but I also want to thank, Father Barry, Sister Joanne, and all the people who made so many years of being a part of St. Bernard's so warm and inviting and a place to call Home.
I will admit, I have not been to Church in a very long time. Not since they closed my Parish, joined Parishes, and then actually reopened the Church that for so much of my life was a Home to me and my family. My faith has never waivered and my closeness to God is not measured by whether or not I attend Church. In fact, my husband and I miss our old Parish very much, but when the Churches merged, and our Pastor left, we almost felt a sense of homelessness, and we actually stopped attending our old Parish.
Today, for the first time in a very long time....I felt at home. St. Cecilia's in Boston and Father Unni, brought back so many memories for me, and it was nice to feel a sense of being home again.
My gift to Danielle, actually became a Gift to me. So much so that when I walked into the Church with my daughters Danielle and Mary we were greeted and asked to bring up the Gifts....Ironic. Another gift of the day, was the priests homily....it was about living a life to the fullest, with no regrets, because we actually never know when our time is up, so we should live our life as best as we can, and surround ourselves with positivity, forgiveness and love.
There were messages in the homily and in sitting in St. Cecilia's that touched my heart. When I walked into the Church I saw behind the altar a very large picture of The Last Supper.....my Dougherty grandparents had this picture always hanging behind their couch in the living room when I was growing up, and so many memories of my faith and my religious upbringing come from my Nana and Grampy Dougherty who were very involved in their church..In fact, I believe they are my first memories of a Church being a place to call home. Then after communion, I looked above that picture, and there she was.... a statue of The Blessed Mother, another inspirational message, because I have always called to her in times of need and in times of gratitude and both of my grandmothers had a closeness to Mary, that I have carried that closeness in my heart as well.
All these messages reminded me of why I loved going to St. Bernard's and being a part of that Parish Family. I wish that Donnie had been with us today, because I know his heart would have been feeling the same things my heart felt today.
I don't know if I will ever go back to our original Parish, but I do know this...for anyone who has left the Church....there is always a home out there for you. St. Cecilia's reminded me of this today. Will I start going back every Sunday? I don't quite know, but I feel comfort in knowing that two of my daughters have found a place that feels like home to them, and I do believe I will go back from time to time with them to this very beautiful church. And I have faith that there is always a home out there waiting to welcome back anyone who has left and who wants to go home again.
I have no regrets, I live my life with love and gratitude...I cherish each day as a Gift, and today, I am grateful to my beautiful daughter who on her Birthday gave me the gift of remembering what it felt like to have a home in a Parish.
I have always used this blog as a venue for gratitude, and I have already thanked Danielle, but I also want to thank, Father Barry, Sister Joanne, and all the people who made so many years of being a part of St. Bernard's so warm and inviting and a place to call Home.
Tuesday, August 2, 2016
Whose that Girl in the Mirror
When my daughter Danielle was little we used to sing this song called Whose that Girl in the Mirror. I think it came from an old children's video, but this 50 something year old brain of mine can't quite recall.
Speaking of this "53" year old mind...it is also attached to this 53 year old face and body, and that is my inspiration for today's blog.
Sunday morning I was lying in bed thinking about my life, my age, and time. I took a quick selfie of myself void of makeup (and if I was tech savvy I would add it to this blog...but I'm just lucky I even know how to do this blog )....any way I digress...I looked at the selfie with my face full of lines, and a neck that sags and shows my age. I looked at my arms that giggle and have a wing like span to them. And then I even looked down at my no longer flat stomach with its many many stretch marks. I realized then that the song Whose that Girl in the Mirror, no longer was about the girl in the mirror, but Me, a 53 year old mother of five and grandmother to Leo.
How is it possible that the girl named Kelly is now a 53 year old mother and grandmother? But then I realized, that I am still that girl, and I am still youthful and full of life. I realized that the lines on my face, are laugh lines, stress lines, worry lines, love lines, life lines....lines that show what a beautiful life I have lived and am living.
My sagging neck may show my age, but this sagging neck is still strong and holds upon it, a head whose brain is still functioning, strong and has still such a huge capacity for learning new things and remembering all that it has learned up till now.
The arms that giggle and look like wings may make me not want to wear sleeveless anymore, but when I thought about my arms and their wings...I thought about guardian angels and their wings. I realized that my wings are for wrapping around my husband, my children, my parents, my siblings, my friends and now my grandson and future grandchildren. These giggly wings have a huge capacity to comfort and embrace all the people that I have had a privilege to love in these 53 years and all the people and loved ones to come.
The stretch marks on my no longer flat stomach...they don't bother me as much. When I see these stretch marks, I see the faces of the five beautiful, amazing human beings that I carried and who created those stretch marks. I think of those stretch marks as I would think of a road map. A map full of destinations and journeys and roads not yet traveled. I look forward to watching my children travel those roads, and create their own maps.
I'm glad I took that selfie this past weekend, and I'm glad it inspired me to write this, because....
Whose that Girl in the Mirror, whose that girl, la la la, la la la la la, whose that happy smiling girl....that girl is me!
Speaking of this "53" year old mind...it is also attached to this 53 year old face and body, and that is my inspiration for today's blog.
Sunday morning I was lying in bed thinking about my life, my age, and time. I took a quick selfie of myself void of makeup (and if I was tech savvy I would add it to this blog...but I'm just lucky I even know how to do this blog )....any way I digress...I looked at the selfie with my face full of lines, and a neck that sags and shows my age. I looked at my arms that giggle and have a wing like span to them. And then I even looked down at my no longer flat stomach with its many many stretch marks. I realized then that the song Whose that Girl in the Mirror, no longer was about the girl in the mirror, but Me, a 53 year old mother of five and grandmother to Leo.
How is it possible that the girl named Kelly is now a 53 year old mother and grandmother? But then I realized, that I am still that girl, and I am still youthful and full of life. I realized that the lines on my face, are laugh lines, stress lines, worry lines, love lines, life lines....lines that show what a beautiful life I have lived and am living.
My sagging neck may show my age, but this sagging neck is still strong and holds upon it, a head whose brain is still functioning, strong and has still such a huge capacity for learning new things and remembering all that it has learned up till now.
The arms that giggle and look like wings may make me not want to wear sleeveless anymore, but when I thought about my arms and their wings...I thought about guardian angels and their wings. I realized that my wings are for wrapping around my husband, my children, my parents, my siblings, my friends and now my grandson and future grandchildren. These giggly wings have a huge capacity to comfort and embrace all the people that I have had a privilege to love in these 53 years and all the people and loved ones to come.
The stretch marks on my no longer flat stomach...they don't bother me as much. When I see these stretch marks, I see the faces of the five beautiful, amazing human beings that I carried and who created those stretch marks. I think of those stretch marks as I would think of a road map. A map full of destinations and journeys and roads not yet traveled. I look forward to watching my children travel those roads, and create their own maps.
I'm glad I took that selfie this past weekend, and I'm glad it inspired me to write this, because....
Whose that Girl in the Mirror, whose that girl, la la la, la la la la la, whose that happy smiling girl....that girl is me!
Sunday, March 20, 2016
Birthday Presents
Today is my Birthday.
I want to thank you all for your presents ("presence")
The gifts of your "presence" in my life.
Whether I've know you a moment, an hour, a week, a month, a year or a lifetime, you have all gifted me with your presence and like the song in Wicked says....because I've known you, I have been changed for good.
It is the people in our lives and their "presence" who make up the wonderful pieces of the complete puzzle we are and will become.
We take each piece and try to fit it into the different grooves until one day the puzzle is completed and our life becomes a final piece of art.
Sometimes, the pieces don't fit, (the negative pieces), but when the pieces that do fit (the positive pieces) the puzzle making becomes an amazing game, and as the pieces come together, it brings so much joy.
Today, I celebrate my parents who started the puzzle called "Kelly". I celebrate my siblings who were the first pieces that were added to my puzzle. My grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, I celebrate you. My childhood friends, my teen hood friends, my husband (one of my favorite pieces), my beautiful children, my grandson...you are all some of the best pieces that my puzzle is made up of. My adult hood friends, my work friends, my children's friends, my theater friends, my new and old friends, you and your presence in my life all make this puzzle making an everyday adventure, and I look forward to adding new pieces and new friends to the puzzle which is my life.
I am grateful for your "presence" and I thank you for all the Birthday messages I received today. I can't wait to keep adding pieces to my puzzle, and one day (many many years from now) when my puzzle is done, I hope you all see apart of yourselves in that puzzle.
Thank you for contributing to my piece of art.
I want to thank you all for your presents ("presence")
The gifts of your "presence" in my life.
Whether I've know you a moment, an hour, a week, a month, a year or a lifetime, you have all gifted me with your presence and like the song in Wicked says....because I've known you, I have been changed for good.
It is the people in our lives and their "presence" who make up the wonderful pieces of the complete puzzle we are and will become.
We take each piece and try to fit it into the different grooves until one day the puzzle is completed and our life becomes a final piece of art.
Sometimes, the pieces don't fit, (the negative pieces), but when the pieces that do fit (the positive pieces) the puzzle making becomes an amazing game, and as the pieces come together, it brings so much joy.
Today, I celebrate my parents who started the puzzle called "Kelly". I celebrate my siblings who were the first pieces that were added to my puzzle. My grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, I celebrate you. My childhood friends, my teen hood friends, my husband (one of my favorite pieces), my beautiful children, my grandson...you are all some of the best pieces that my puzzle is made up of. My adult hood friends, my work friends, my children's friends, my theater friends, my new and old friends, you and your presence in my life all make this puzzle making an everyday adventure, and I look forward to adding new pieces and new friends to the puzzle which is my life.
I am grateful for your "presence" and I thank you for all the Birthday messages I received today. I can't wait to keep adding pieces to my puzzle, and one day (many many years from now) when my puzzle is done, I hope you all see apart of yourselves in that puzzle.
Thank you for contributing to my piece of art.
Monday, February 8, 2016
Me and My Shadow
In keeping with my theme of gratefulness, I am writing my blog today in dedication to Shadows, and light.
Two weeks ago, I went to have my knee checked out for a torn miniscus. At that appointment, the x-ray showed a shadow on my femur. Then the MRI, Cat Scan and Bone Scan showed the same shadow.
What could this shadow mean....well, they sent me to an Orthopedic Oncologist to make sure that that shadow wasn't cancerous. I waited for over a week for the appointment with the Oncologist, and during that week, I went through a series of emotions.
The shadow on my femur, now became a shadow made up of worry, fear, depression, and many other emotions that come with the shadow of the unknown.
I tried to remain positive, and I know I had family and friends praying for me. The hard part of not knowing and waiting to get your results is the roller coaster of emotions you go through (not to mention the tons of food you eat to self medicate yourself)
How could I not remain positive? 11 years ago when my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer that went to her brain, she never once lost her sense of positivity. Was it her positive attitude, that made her survive the cancer, or was it fate. She just went with the flow, and today she is a walking miracle. We were blesssed. We are blessed. I am one of six children, my husband is one of five. We have healthy children, healthy parents,a healthy grandson, healthy siblings and healthy nieces and nephews.....I think this is where my fear came into play....
My mother lost her father at 52, her sister at 65, her brother at 42 ,her sister in law at 56, and her mother at 88. My father lost a sister in law,a brother in law, a nephew, his parents and other loved ones. And in my husbands family we lost his fathers parents, his mothers father, and we were blessed to have his grandmother till she was 102 years old. Loss is such a random thing in life, that when you have a shadow cast upon your health you do tend to worry, and wonder....when will our family be touched by loss again?
Today, the shadow was dispersed when the Oncologist confirmed that the light in the tumor shown on the MRI was just cartilage and not cancerous. Wow! What a relief. But how crazy is that. I am grateful to once again be blessed with a positive outcome. But I am also more sensitive to those who have not had the same good fortune. I will take this news and continue to have new adventures and make more memories. While doing so, I will continue to pray for strength for those who did not get good news in their time of shadows, that they too will be able to find some light to lift their spirit. I will remember loved ones who have passed and remember the light they brought into my life.
Me and my shadow, will continue to see light and love in each new day. I am grateful for today.
Blessings to all
Two weeks ago, I went to have my knee checked out for a torn miniscus. At that appointment, the x-ray showed a shadow on my femur. Then the MRI, Cat Scan and Bone Scan showed the same shadow.
What could this shadow mean....well, they sent me to an Orthopedic Oncologist to make sure that that shadow wasn't cancerous. I waited for over a week for the appointment with the Oncologist, and during that week, I went through a series of emotions.
The shadow on my femur, now became a shadow made up of worry, fear, depression, and many other emotions that come with the shadow of the unknown.
I tried to remain positive, and I know I had family and friends praying for me. The hard part of not knowing and waiting to get your results is the roller coaster of emotions you go through (not to mention the tons of food you eat to self medicate yourself)
How could I not remain positive? 11 years ago when my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer that went to her brain, she never once lost her sense of positivity. Was it her positive attitude, that made her survive the cancer, or was it fate. She just went with the flow, and today she is a walking miracle. We were blesssed. We are blessed. I am one of six children, my husband is one of five. We have healthy children, healthy parents,a healthy grandson, healthy siblings and healthy nieces and nephews.....I think this is where my fear came into play....
My mother lost her father at 52, her sister at 65, her brother at 42 ,her sister in law at 56, and her mother at 88. My father lost a sister in law,a brother in law, a nephew, his parents and other loved ones. And in my husbands family we lost his fathers parents, his mothers father, and we were blessed to have his grandmother till she was 102 years old. Loss is such a random thing in life, that when you have a shadow cast upon your health you do tend to worry, and wonder....when will our family be touched by loss again?
Today, the shadow was dispersed when the Oncologist confirmed that the light in the tumor shown on the MRI was just cartilage and not cancerous. Wow! What a relief. But how crazy is that. I am grateful to once again be blessed with a positive outcome. But I am also more sensitive to those who have not had the same good fortune. I will take this news and continue to have new adventures and make more memories. While doing so, I will continue to pray for strength for those who did not get good news in their time of shadows, that they too will be able to find some light to lift their spirit. I will remember loved ones who have passed and remember the light they brought into my life.
Me and my shadow, will continue to see light and love in each new day. I am grateful for today.
Blessings to all
Saturday, October 10, 2015
The Magic of Disney
So, this morning, I stayed in bed and watched Disney Channel with my husband. To many of you, you will think this is totally lame. But to many of you, you will totally "get it".
We started out watching Girl Meets World. When my kids were young they all watched Boy Meets World, and as sappy as the show was, I can guarantee you, that many of my kids can still quote many of the Topanga and Corey lines from the series. It was a wholesome sitcom, that usually had a life lesson, imparted in the theme of the series, usually by Mr. Feeney, or Corey's Mom and Dad.. Girl Meets World, is a little more caricaturist, or over the top tongue and cheek, but I seriously love it! Its message is always of acceptance, perseverance, friendship, family, and yes...Love. In this series, the grown up Corey Matthews, (now a teacher married to Topanga) begins the show in a classroom setting with a teaching moment...a moment that takes an educational topic, and usually turns it into a life's lesson.
I watch the show, and absorb all the sappiness, and turn to my husband and say, why can't all life be like a Disney show. As I look over at him while watching the series....he too is feeling what I am feeling, and he will often say...."We've been married along time" meaning, we think alike and we feel alike. We are not living in a Disney series, and our life is far from perfect, but gosh darn it....we feel the Disney Magic. The magic, simply put is....we love Sappy Happy Endings, that come from sappy one liners, quotes from Disney shows, and the promise of what could be.
After we watched Girl Meets World, we watched the new Disney movie "Invisible Sister". Again another movie with a Happy Ending, and messages of acceptance, perseverance, friendship, family and Love. Is it so wrong to find simple joy from watching these programs? I think not. I wish all of us could find a little Disney magic in our lives.
My profession is being a Baby/Child Wrangler on photo shoots and videos. Watching the Disney movies and channel, has made for some wonderful conversations with the young children I work with. They get all excited about talking to me about the newest Disney movies and shows, and I remember back to when my children used to love all those programs as well. In their youth and excitement for those shows, I feel the Disney Magic, just as I still feel it today as an "Old" yet young at heart woman.
For my youngest child's College graduation, Donnie and I are taking all our children, our daughter in law and our new grandson to Disney....It has always been a magical place for our family, and though our children are all adults now, I hope to watch them and watch my little grandson all experience the Disney Magic....because I feel that Disney magic everyday, when I accept my children for who they are, watch them persevere through good times and bad, watch them with their friends from childhood and adulthood, love that they will often come for family dinners just to see each other, and most of all Love, because just like a Disney movie or series....Love is what makes the "Disney Magic"
We started out watching Girl Meets World. When my kids were young they all watched Boy Meets World, and as sappy as the show was, I can guarantee you, that many of my kids can still quote many of the Topanga and Corey lines from the series. It was a wholesome sitcom, that usually had a life lesson, imparted in the theme of the series, usually by Mr. Feeney, or Corey's Mom and Dad.. Girl Meets World, is a little more caricaturist, or over the top tongue and cheek, but I seriously love it! Its message is always of acceptance, perseverance, friendship, family, and yes...Love. In this series, the grown up Corey Matthews, (now a teacher married to Topanga) begins the show in a classroom setting with a teaching moment...a moment that takes an educational topic, and usually turns it into a life's lesson.
I watch the show, and absorb all the sappiness, and turn to my husband and say, why can't all life be like a Disney show. As I look over at him while watching the series....he too is feeling what I am feeling, and he will often say...."We've been married along time" meaning, we think alike and we feel alike. We are not living in a Disney series, and our life is far from perfect, but gosh darn it....we feel the Disney Magic. The magic, simply put is....we love Sappy Happy Endings, that come from sappy one liners, quotes from Disney shows, and the promise of what could be.
After we watched Girl Meets World, we watched the new Disney movie "Invisible Sister". Again another movie with a Happy Ending, and messages of acceptance, perseverance, friendship, family and Love. Is it so wrong to find simple joy from watching these programs? I think not. I wish all of us could find a little Disney magic in our lives.
My profession is being a Baby/Child Wrangler on photo shoots and videos. Watching the Disney movies and channel, has made for some wonderful conversations with the young children I work with. They get all excited about talking to me about the newest Disney movies and shows, and I remember back to when my children used to love all those programs as well. In their youth and excitement for those shows, I feel the Disney Magic, just as I still feel it today as an "Old" yet young at heart woman.
For my youngest child's College graduation, Donnie and I are taking all our children, our daughter in law and our new grandson to Disney....It has always been a magical place for our family, and though our children are all adults now, I hope to watch them and watch my little grandson all experience the Disney Magic....because I feel that Disney magic everyday, when I accept my children for who they are, watch them persevere through good times and bad, watch them with their friends from childhood and adulthood, love that they will often come for family dinners just to see each other, and most of all Love, because just like a Disney movie or series....Love is what makes the "Disney Magic"
Saturday, August 8, 2015
Bubbles
When you are a child, blowing bubbles, popping bubbles and watching them float in the air, brings such awe and joy. Each bubble is unique and effervescent and captures the light in such a way, that you can see a rainbow prism in each bubble you blow.
When I think of bubbles now, sometimes I wish I could capture my children in a beautiful effervescent bubble and keep them safe there, in a land of rainbows, awe and joy. But my children, like each bubble we blow have their own journeys in the wind, their own beauty, their own uniqueness.
What makes me think of this analogy, is the fact that all of my children are now adults, and my husband and I are getting closer and closer to a complete Empty Nest. When our youngest graduates next Spring, she too will join the other "bubbles" to float in the air, capture the light and follow where the wind blows her.
I wish that I could continue to keep them close and inside a protective bubble, but I realize that the minute you take that wand, dip it into the soapy liquid and blow those bubbles, you are setting them free to share their own beauty with the world.
When I think of bubbles now, sometimes I wish I could capture my children in a beautiful effervescent bubble and keep them safe there, in a land of rainbows, awe and joy. But my children, like each bubble we blow have their own journeys in the wind, their own beauty, their own uniqueness.
What makes me think of this analogy, is the fact that all of my children are now adults, and my husband and I are getting closer and closer to a complete Empty Nest. When our youngest graduates next Spring, she too will join the other "bubbles" to float in the air, capture the light and follow where the wind blows her.
I wish that I could continue to keep them close and inside a protective bubble, but I realize that the minute you take that wand, dip it into the soapy liquid and blow those bubbles, you are setting them free to share their own beauty with the world.
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Set another Plate at the Table "Ode to our Kitchen Table",
Our Kitchen table has another place setting there,
Our Joy is overflowing cuz our first grandchild is here.
So many memories made, so many yet to come,
These moments fill my heart, it's why I became a Mom.
Ninety-six inches long when all the leafs are in,
A Kitchen table, is where many stories begin.
So much laughter, arguing, and agreeing to disagree,
It's the place we sit around as we grow our family tree.
No conversation is ever out of bounds,
My family conversing at our table is one of life's sweetest sounds.
Now Leo's cry is saying "Listen to Me",
And in years to come, may he be joined by many cousins who will add to our glee.
I'm sitting alone at my kitchen table as I write this Ode,
And I look forward to future memories made at the table in our Naugler Abode.
Our Joy is overflowing cuz our first grandchild is here.
So many memories made, so many yet to come,
These moments fill my heart, it's why I became a Mom.
Ninety-six inches long when all the leafs are in,
A Kitchen table, is where many stories begin.
So much laughter, arguing, and agreeing to disagree,
It's the place we sit around as we grow our family tree.
No conversation is ever out of bounds,
My family conversing at our table is one of life's sweetest sounds.
Now Leo's cry is saying "Listen to Me",
And in years to come, may he be joined by many cousins who will add to our glee.
I'm sitting alone at my kitchen table as I write this Ode,
And I look forward to future memories made at the table in our Naugler Abode.
Thursday, May 7, 2015
The Story Goes On
And so our story goes on....two teenagers who fell in love at 16, married at 20 and had five beautiful children, now have a grandson.
Our son Ryan who at birth was given a 5% chance of survival, did just that....he survived, met his wife Annie at 16, fell in love got engaged at 20, married at 23 and at 26 became a father of a beautiful healthy little boy, who will continue our story.
Our grandson is blessed to have 4 great grandparents, 4 grandparents, countless great aunts, and uncles and many many cousins who can't wait to meet him, love him and welcome him into the Naugler, Dougherty, Lilly, and Cincotta families.
When Donnie and I were dating at 16, we knew at a very young age, that we were destined to be together. We always knew we wanted to have a large family, and God Blessed us with our five children. Today, looking at my grandson, who looks so much like my son, my heart was filled with so much joy, because he is just the beginning of this story that never ends. The circle of life.
My blog has always had a theme of gratefulness, and today, I am so grateful to have a healthy grandson with two loving parents. I am grateful to have had Donnie's grandparents, and my grandparents alive and full of stories rich in family history when my first child was born. I am grateful that Leo will have my parents and Donnie's parents to share their family history's with him. I am grateful that Annie's parents are going to fill Leo's life with stories of Lilly and Cincotta history. This is how the story goes on.....it goes on, in the story telling by all those who came before Leo, and will be passed on to all those that are still to come.....
Welcome to the Story Leo Salvatore Naugler.....I look forward to seeing how your story will unfold.....but one thing I know for sure....your story started with LOVE
Our son Ryan who at birth was given a 5% chance of survival, did just that....he survived, met his wife Annie at 16, fell in love got engaged at 20, married at 23 and at 26 became a father of a beautiful healthy little boy, who will continue our story.
Our grandson is blessed to have 4 great grandparents, 4 grandparents, countless great aunts, and uncles and many many cousins who can't wait to meet him, love him and welcome him into the Naugler, Dougherty, Lilly, and Cincotta families.
When Donnie and I were dating at 16, we knew at a very young age, that we were destined to be together. We always knew we wanted to have a large family, and God Blessed us with our five children. Today, looking at my grandson, who looks so much like my son, my heart was filled with so much joy, because he is just the beginning of this story that never ends. The circle of life.
My blog has always had a theme of gratefulness, and today, I am so grateful to have a healthy grandson with two loving parents. I am grateful to have had Donnie's grandparents, and my grandparents alive and full of stories rich in family history when my first child was born. I am grateful that Leo will have my parents and Donnie's parents to share their family history's with him. I am grateful that Annie's parents are going to fill Leo's life with stories of Lilly and Cincotta history. This is how the story goes on.....it goes on, in the story telling by all those who came before Leo, and will be passed on to all those that are still to come.....
Welcome to the Story Leo Salvatore Naugler.....I look forward to seeing how your story will unfold.....but one thing I know for sure....your story started with LOVE
Sunday, April 12, 2015
I found my Pot of Gold in Ireland
If you asked me over a year ago, Do you think you would ever go to Ireland and find your Pot of Gold? I would have said, " probably not!" But I did indeed find my Pot of Gold in Ireland last week.
Our youngest daughter has been studying abroad in Brussels and when she had a two week semester break, we decided to go visit her for a week in Europe. We chose Ireland to visit because it was only a short plane ride for her from Brussels. Did we have the money to go? Was it a good financial decision to go? Did we miss Jane like crazy? Would it be a worthwhile trip? NO and NO to the first two questions, and Heck YES to the last two!
Letting Jane go abroad was probably one of the hardest decisions we have ever made, but our hearts told us, she needed to go and that it was the right thing for her to do. I cried so hard for a week before we put her on the plane to leave, I prayed that this would be a positive experience and would change her life.
So how does this all lead up to finding my Pot of Gold? Well I will tell you.
I first found my Pot of Gold when I first saw my baby girls smiling face when we met up with her in Dublin after not having seen her in months. To see that smile was priceless and its shine warmed my heart and my soul.
I next found Gold in Ireland by having 7 straight days of Golden Sunshine. Something the locals in Ireland said is very rare at this time of year. God was smiling down at us each day in those beautiful rays of sunshine, he knows how special this trip was to us.
I found Gold in finding the birth place of my Great Grandmother Julia Marie Kelly Tobin. The house was still standing with only three walls, but the connection I felt to my ancestors and knowing that this is where my Nana's mother was born, gave me the strongest sense of awe and connection to my roots. No money on earth can give you that feeling, but there is definitely Gold in knowing how precious that moment of finding her house gave me.
I found Gold in being with my husband and being so grateful to experience Ireland and all the different counties that my relatives came from with him by my side. And definitely Gold in the fact that he did a great job driving on the Left Side of the Road.
I found Gold in the sheer beauty of the Waterfalls, the landscape, the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, the golden daffodils all in bloom, the mountain side, the counties, and the music we heard in pubs and on the streets of Ireland.
I found Gold in having Jane travel with us, and having her be so engaging, and talkative the entire time. Not once did she use her phone to call people, text people, or play games. She sat in the back seat and regaled us with stories of her months in Brussels, all the people she has met, all the different sights she has seen, and her excitement of her future plans. She and Donnie marveled at the history of all the castles and sights we saw. We talked about politics, science, evolution, religion, life and love. She was and is "Happy" and to me that is worth more than all the Gold in the world.
It didn't rain, so we saw no Rainbows, but we saw so many stars each night as we finished our days of sightseeing. I didn't meet any leprechauns, and I didn't see any fairies, but I felt the magic in the air, and the spirits of my ancestors.
We didn't need a rainbow to find a pot of gold at the end of, because the Gold was with us every day, and is still with us. My Pot of Gold was with me all along, because whether I'm in Ireland or here at home, my Pot of Gold comes is the warmth of Family, Friends and Love.
Our youngest daughter has been studying abroad in Brussels and when she had a two week semester break, we decided to go visit her for a week in Europe. We chose Ireland to visit because it was only a short plane ride for her from Brussels. Did we have the money to go? Was it a good financial decision to go? Did we miss Jane like crazy? Would it be a worthwhile trip? NO and NO to the first two questions, and Heck YES to the last two!
Letting Jane go abroad was probably one of the hardest decisions we have ever made, but our hearts told us, she needed to go and that it was the right thing for her to do. I cried so hard for a week before we put her on the plane to leave, I prayed that this would be a positive experience and would change her life.
So how does this all lead up to finding my Pot of Gold? Well I will tell you.
I first found my Pot of Gold when I first saw my baby girls smiling face when we met up with her in Dublin after not having seen her in months. To see that smile was priceless and its shine warmed my heart and my soul.
I next found Gold in Ireland by having 7 straight days of Golden Sunshine. Something the locals in Ireland said is very rare at this time of year. God was smiling down at us each day in those beautiful rays of sunshine, he knows how special this trip was to us.
I found Gold in finding the birth place of my Great Grandmother Julia Marie Kelly Tobin. The house was still standing with only three walls, but the connection I felt to my ancestors and knowing that this is where my Nana's mother was born, gave me the strongest sense of awe and connection to my roots. No money on earth can give you that feeling, but there is definitely Gold in knowing how precious that moment of finding her house gave me.
I found Gold in being with my husband and being so grateful to experience Ireland and all the different counties that my relatives came from with him by my side. And definitely Gold in the fact that he did a great job driving on the Left Side of the Road.
I found Gold in the sheer beauty of the Waterfalls, the landscape, the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, the golden daffodils all in bloom, the mountain side, the counties, and the music we heard in pubs and on the streets of Ireland.
I found Gold in having Jane travel with us, and having her be so engaging, and talkative the entire time. Not once did she use her phone to call people, text people, or play games. She sat in the back seat and regaled us with stories of her months in Brussels, all the people she has met, all the different sights she has seen, and her excitement of her future plans. She and Donnie marveled at the history of all the castles and sights we saw. We talked about politics, science, evolution, religion, life and love. She was and is "Happy" and to me that is worth more than all the Gold in the world.
It didn't rain, so we saw no Rainbows, but we saw so many stars each night as we finished our days of sightseeing. I didn't meet any leprechauns, and I didn't see any fairies, but I felt the magic in the air, and the spirits of my ancestors.
We didn't need a rainbow to find a pot of gold at the end of, because the Gold was with us every day, and is still with us. My Pot of Gold was with me all along, because whether I'm in Ireland or here at home, my Pot of Gold comes is the warmth of Family, Friends and Love.
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
Feeding my Soul
Spring is a week of way. My Birthday is the first day of Spring. The snow is starting to melt, and my heart is feeling lighter now that the past year is where it belongs...in the past. I am working to shed the weight that weighed heavy on my soul last year, and the weight that I gained as well. I am going to feed my soul with lightness, positivity, continued gratitude, spending time with loved ones, music, and a sense of wonder and joy at the thought of the memories that I will make in each new day.
Feeding your soul, should be a priority. It is good to find the things in life that bring happiness. For me, I will begin feeding my soul the day after my birthday, auditioning for another musical. Last year, I took time off from performing, to spend the summer being with my family. We were building an addition to our home for my parents to come live in, and I wanted to spend time just being with my husband and kids. In May, we took our 5 kids and daughter in law to Aruba, for a vacation filled with so many wonderful memories. It was much needed. In November my parents moved into their new addition, and are now happy and content. All our kids are doing well, my husband has a job he enjoys, and my job is flourishing. All these things I am grateful for, and they feed my soul. But I think my soul is still hungry and it is craving more music in my life, so that is where I will look to feed the hunger. I will sing everyday, I will audition for another show, I will listen to music, that makes me smile, and in May or late April, I will enrich my soul even more by singing to my new grandson who will be making his debut into our lives.
May you all find the things in life that will feed your soul. Happy soon to be Spring!
Feeding your soul, should be a priority. It is good to find the things in life that bring happiness. For me, I will begin feeding my soul the day after my birthday, auditioning for another musical. Last year, I took time off from performing, to spend the summer being with my family. We were building an addition to our home for my parents to come live in, and I wanted to spend time just being with my husband and kids. In May, we took our 5 kids and daughter in law to Aruba, for a vacation filled with so many wonderful memories. It was much needed. In November my parents moved into their new addition, and are now happy and content. All our kids are doing well, my husband has a job he enjoys, and my job is flourishing. All these things I am grateful for, and they feed my soul. But I think my soul is still hungry and it is craving more music in my life, so that is where I will look to feed the hunger. I will sing everyday, I will audition for another show, I will listen to music, that makes me smile, and in May or late April, I will enrich my soul even more by singing to my new grandson who will be making his debut into our lives.
May you all find the things in life that will feed your soul. Happy soon to be Spring!
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Traditions
It seems like ages since I have written a blog. It's been over a year. I think the Holidays bring out the Nostalgia in all of us, and this is what motivated me to write.
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and I am remembering Christmas Eve's from my youth. The tradition was to go to Nana and Grampy Dougherty's and have a roast beef dinner, with all the fixings. We would eat dinner in the living room with the sound of Bing Crosby in the back round. Every time I hear Bing sing a Christmas classic, it transports me back in time to Lincoln and the warmth of 25 Old Winter Street. After dinner, Grampy would sit in his chair, Nana would pass out the gifts and the family would enjoy a peaceful night, with the possibility of the neighbors coming over to join as well. If I close my eyes I can still see the Charlie Brown Christmas tree with the big lights on it. Grampy always waited till the last trees were left for sale and he and Nana somehow made that tree Shine! I think it was Love that made that tree shine. I am so grateful that for so many years my oldest three children were able to share in that tradition with my Nana and Grampy. I still see Grampy playing his drumsticks, and my son Ryan singing Jingle Bells for them. The Dougherty Christmas Eve is a fond memory for me.
Christmas Day was usually a louder affair at either my Aunt Carol's house, My Uncle Gary's house, our house or Nana Rose's house. We alternated for years. There was always food in abundance and usually it was a boisterous Irish affair. It saddens me that today, My mother is the only living Feeley from my grandparents Rose and Charles Feeley, and those Christmas's of past are now just memories. In my nostalgia, I am hoping that My Aunt Carol, Aunt Gina, Uncle Gary, his son Danny, and my grandparents are all at Peace in Heaven, with nothing but love in their heart for each other and for us, as they smile down on us from heaven.
After I was married, the Holidays got really hectic. By the time we had our first three children, our kids had 4 grandparents and 8 great grandparents. We were truly blessed, but we also made sure that we saw all the grandparents during the 2 day span.
It went something like this:
Christmas eve..dress three little ones, and get to Mass. Go to Nana and Grampy Dougherty's in Lincoln to see great grandparents and Nanny and Papa, eat quickly, sing a few carols and then dress the little ones and head to Bedford to celebrate Christmas Eve with Grandma and Grandpa and Great Gram and Great Grampa and all the Vaudo/Naugler cousins. Drive home in time for Santa, and wake up for the next round.
Christmas morning....open Santa's gifts dress three little ones, and head to wherever Nanny and Papa were, and Nana and Grampy Werner. Visit with all the Dougherty cousins and then head back over to Grandma and Grandpa Nauglers to see Great Grammy and Great Grandpa Bodine. It was a whirlwind.
Whoosh all eight great grandparents and four grandparents....lots of memories, lots of chaos, but most of all truly blessed with lots of Love.
Those years passed, and by the time Mary and Jane came along, we had lost many of our Great Grandparents. We were truly blessed to have Donnie's grandmother with us until last year. We all went into her room on Christmas eve and were able to lovingly wish her a Merry Christmas and a sad farewell. She died three days after Christmas,at 102 years old. But up until that day, she always made Christmas eve with the Vaudo/Naugler clan a memorable occasion (even if I never ate the 7 fishes or lobster sauce)
Now we do Christmas Eve with Donnie's family and Christmas Day with mine.
Christmas is a bittersweet time, and this Christmas, I am blessed to have my parents now happily living in an addition they built onto our home. A new tradition will begin this year and they will come in Christmas morning after our children open their gifts and they will spend Christmas morning with us for hopefully many years to come. Donnie's parents in the last few years have come the week before Christmas and we decorate Christmas cookies together. Another new tradition.
Traditions will change many times in the years to come, but the memories I hold in my heart from Christmas's past will live on in my heart for years to come, and I look forward to the new memories and new traditions. Next year, God willing, my grandson (who will be born in the Spring) will have 4 loving grandparents and 4 great grandparents. So many more Christmas memories to make.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all my family and friends, and no matter how you celebrate, find the time to remember the memories of your loved ones who have passed and of your past Christmas's. Make new memories and may you know, Peace, Joy, and Love this season and always.
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and I am remembering Christmas Eve's from my youth. The tradition was to go to Nana and Grampy Dougherty's and have a roast beef dinner, with all the fixings. We would eat dinner in the living room with the sound of Bing Crosby in the back round. Every time I hear Bing sing a Christmas classic, it transports me back in time to Lincoln and the warmth of 25 Old Winter Street. After dinner, Grampy would sit in his chair, Nana would pass out the gifts and the family would enjoy a peaceful night, with the possibility of the neighbors coming over to join as well. If I close my eyes I can still see the Charlie Brown Christmas tree with the big lights on it. Grampy always waited till the last trees were left for sale and he and Nana somehow made that tree Shine! I think it was Love that made that tree shine. I am so grateful that for so many years my oldest three children were able to share in that tradition with my Nana and Grampy. I still see Grampy playing his drumsticks, and my son Ryan singing Jingle Bells for them. The Dougherty Christmas Eve is a fond memory for me.
Christmas Day was usually a louder affair at either my Aunt Carol's house, My Uncle Gary's house, our house or Nana Rose's house. We alternated for years. There was always food in abundance and usually it was a boisterous Irish affair. It saddens me that today, My mother is the only living Feeley from my grandparents Rose and Charles Feeley, and those Christmas's of past are now just memories. In my nostalgia, I am hoping that My Aunt Carol, Aunt Gina, Uncle Gary, his son Danny, and my grandparents are all at Peace in Heaven, with nothing but love in their heart for each other and for us, as they smile down on us from heaven.
After I was married, the Holidays got really hectic. By the time we had our first three children, our kids had 4 grandparents and 8 great grandparents. We were truly blessed, but we also made sure that we saw all the grandparents during the 2 day span.
It went something like this:
Christmas eve..dress three little ones, and get to Mass. Go to Nana and Grampy Dougherty's in Lincoln to see great grandparents and Nanny and Papa, eat quickly, sing a few carols and then dress the little ones and head to Bedford to celebrate Christmas Eve with Grandma and Grandpa and Great Gram and Great Grampa and all the Vaudo/Naugler cousins. Drive home in time for Santa, and wake up for the next round.
Christmas morning....open Santa's gifts dress three little ones, and head to wherever Nanny and Papa were, and Nana and Grampy Werner. Visit with all the Dougherty cousins and then head back over to Grandma and Grandpa Nauglers to see Great Grammy and Great Grandpa Bodine. It was a whirlwind.
Whoosh all eight great grandparents and four grandparents....lots of memories, lots of chaos, but most of all truly blessed with lots of Love.
Those years passed, and by the time Mary and Jane came along, we had lost many of our Great Grandparents. We were truly blessed to have Donnie's grandmother with us until last year. We all went into her room on Christmas eve and were able to lovingly wish her a Merry Christmas and a sad farewell. She died three days after Christmas,at 102 years old. But up until that day, she always made Christmas eve with the Vaudo/Naugler clan a memorable occasion (even if I never ate the 7 fishes or lobster sauce)
Now we do Christmas Eve with Donnie's family and Christmas Day with mine.
Christmas is a bittersweet time, and this Christmas, I am blessed to have my parents now happily living in an addition they built onto our home. A new tradition will begin this year and they will come in Christmas morning after our children open their gifts and they will spend Christmas morning with us for hopefully many years to come. Donnie's parents in the last few years have come the week before Christmas and we decorate Christmas cookies together. Another new tradition.
Traditions will change many times in the years to come, but the memories I hold in my heart from Christmas's past will live on in my heart for years to come, and I look forward to the new memories and new traditions. Next year, God willing, my grandson (who will be born in the Spring) will have 4 loving grandparents and 4 great grandparents. So many more Christmas memories to make.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all my family and friends, and no matter how you celebrate, find the time to remember the memories of your loved ones who have passed and of your past Christmas's. Make new memories and may you know, Peace, Joy, and Love this season and always.
Monday, February 17, 2014
My Park
These last months have been quite the roller coaster ride for me. But I paid the price of admission to get into this Park, and I chose to take this roller coaster ride called life.
At this park, there are many rides to choose from. The first ride I chose, was the Marriage ride, and for the most part this ride has been a blast, with more highs than lows. This ride is one that I am strapped firmly into, and plan on riding it into the sunset, with my ride partner and best friend. My husband Donnie. (We actually lined up to get into this Park at the age of 16, and now 34 years later, we are enjoying all the thrills that this particular roller coaster ride is bringing.
The second ride I chose was called the Motherhood ride. Again, I take this ride with my ride partner Donnie and I guess you could call this a dual roller coaster with two parts "Motherhood and Fatherhood" Its a dual roller coaster that you ride together, but with various twists and turns. The Motherhood side of the roller coaster can reek havoc on your emotions as you take the ride to all its peaks and valleys. The Fatherhood side of the roller coaster is the main support system of the ride, as he shoulders the weight of the structure on his shoulders.
It is a ride we freely chose to ride together, and I am grateful to have my ride partner with me all the way. I found the first few hills easy to handle, but as it turned out, the ride can get really bumpy. At first I thought I could handle all of the rides ups and downs with ease, but I found during the course of the ride, that I was very grateful for the hand that held mine tightly as parts of the ride got very scary. But as scary as this ride can be, it is is also full of thrills, laughter, and constant anticipation as to what is coming around the next bend.
From the first hill called infancy, to the hills called teens, and the hills called adulthood, I would gladly buy a ticket to ride the coaster called Motherhood and Fatherhood, over and over again.
My Park is always open, always changing, and always full of exciting, exhilarating, scary, and ever changing amusement rides. My Life is full and I really like going to the Park and experiencing all it has to offer. I know that in the future there will someday be a "Grandparent Ride", and someday, there will be particular rides that we really won't want to get on. But in this Park called Life, its all about the ups and downs, and we should cherish every ride we are freely willing to take, and enjoy it to its fullest.
At this park, there are many rides to choose from. The first ride I chose, was the Marriage ride, and for the most part this ride has been a blast, with more highs than lows. This ride is one that I am strapped firmly into, and plan on riding it into the sunset, with my ride partner and best friend. My husband Donnie. (We actually lined up to get into this Park at the age of 16, and now 34 years later, we are enjoying all the thrills that this particular roller coaster ride is bringing.
The second ride I chose was called the Motherhood ride. Again, I take this ride with my ride partner Donnie and I guess you could call this a dual roller coaster with two parts "Motherhood and Fatherhood" Its a dual roller coaster that you ride together, but with various twists and turns. The Motherhood side of the roller coaster can reek havoc on your emotions as you take the ride to all its peaks and valleys. The Fatherhood side of the roller coaster is the main support system of the ride, as he shoulders the weight of the structure on his shoulders.
It is a ride we freely chose to ride together, and I am grateful to have my ride partner with me all the way. I found the first few hills easy to handle, but as it turned out, the ride can get really bumpy. At first I thought I could handle all of the rides ups and downs with ease, but I found during the course of the ride, that I was very grateful for the hand that held mine tightly as parts of the ride got very scary. But as scary as this ride can be, it is is also full of thrills, laughter, and constant anticipation as to what is coming around the next bend.
From the first hill called infancy, to the hills called teens, and the hills called adulthood, I would gladly buy a ticket to ride the coaster called Motherhood and Fatherhood, over and over again.
My Park is always open, always changing, and always full of exciting, exhilarating, scary, and ever changing amusement rides. My Life is full and I really like going to the Park and experiencing all it has to offer. I know that in the future there will someday be a "Grandparent Ride", and someday, there will be particular rides that we really won't want to get on. But in this Park called Life, its all about the ups and downs, and we should cherish every ride we are freely willing to take, and enjoy it to its fullest.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
CHANGE
Change is a word, that is easy for some and hard for others. In 2013, our family has experienced a lot of changes, many highs and many lows. It is what we do with these changes (highs and lows) that help us define what direction our lives will take in the year to come.
I welcome 2014, after saying a bittersweet goodbye to Donnie's grandmother at the age of 102. Knowing her and having her in my life and the life of my family, has been a positive and loving experience, so I take my memories of her, and I will carry them forward with a positive light and attitude. The change of not having her here with us in body, will be that I will carry her with me in spirit.
September 15, 2013 was the hardest day and month of all, in the year of 2013. The months that followed were truly some of the hardest months I have ever lived through. I don't share here, what happened in those months, because, I am going to put them behind me, and look forward to the positive changes those months are going to bring to all of the us. We will be stronger, more focused, healthier of body, mind and soul, and we will, all of us (my family) take on 2014 with passion, drive, happiness, and goals that will be accomplished.
Today is January 1, 2014, and Donnie and I just watched our oldest child Danielle, drive off to follow her dreams in LA. This is a change, that left me crying in the driveway. Tears for missing her, tears for being so proud of her, and tears of joy for raising a daughter who is not afraid of Change, but takes it all in stride.
She is taking the drive with her two sisters and they will have an amazing adventure. When the younger two return home, there will be more changes to take on. Mary will be graduating from college and taking on the world as a nurse. Jane will be transferring to a new College, and turning her life around. And the boys who are not on the trip with the girls, are living their own adventures and taking on new changes everyday.
My wish for 2014 is that whatever changes come our way, that Donnie, Kelly, Danielle, Michael, Ryan, Annie, Mary and Jane Naugler, all face those changes and enjoy each day to it's fullest. I think Gram at 102 saw a lot of changes in her life, and two weeks before she passed, I had the chance to sing with her....She was lying in her bed and we sang Que Sera Sera, whatever will be will be, the futures not ours to see, Que Sera Sera....One Day at a Time, One Change at a Time.
I welcome 2014, after saying a bittersweet goodbye to Donnie's grandmother at the age of 102. Knowing her and having her in my life and the life of my family, has been a positive and loving experience, so I take my memories of her, and I will carry them forward with a positive light and attitude. The change of not having her here with us in body, will be that I will carry her with me in spirit.
September 15, 2013 was the hardest day and month of all, in the year of 2013. The months that followed were truly some of the hardest months I have ever lived through. I don't share here, what happened in those months, because, I am going to put them behind me, and look forward to the positive changes those months are going to bring to all of the us. We will be stronger, more focused, healthier of body, mind and soul, and we will, all of us (my family) take on 2014 with passion, drive, happiness, and goals that will be accomplished.
Today is January 1, 2014, and Donnie and I just watched our oldest child Danielle, drive off to follow her dreams in LA. This is a change, that left me crying in the driveway. Tears for missing her, tears for being so proud of her, and tears of joy for raising a daughter who is not afraid of Change, but takes it all in stride.
She is taking the drive with her two sisters and they will have an amazing adventure. When the younger two return home, there will be more changes to take on. Mary will be graduating from college and taking on the world as a nurse. Jane will be transferring to a new College, and turning her life around. And the boys who are not on the trip with the girls, are living their own adventures and taking on new changes everyday.
My wish for 2014 is that whatever changes come our way, that Donnie, Kelly, Danielle, Michael, Ryan, Annie, Mary and Jane Naugler, all face those changes and enjoy each day to it's fullest. I think Gram at 102 saw a lot of changes in her life, and two weeks before she passed, I had the chance to sing with her....She was lying in her bed and we sang Que Sera Sera, whatever will be will be, the futures not ours to see, Que Sera Sera....One Day at a Time, One Change at a Time.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Turn Around, Sunrise Sunset
What is it about the lyrics in a song that ring so true. "Turn Around, Turn Around, Turn Around and she's/he's a young girl/boy heading out of the door" Sunrise, Sunset "I don't remember growing older, when did they?"
I am being very nostalgic today, Danielle (my first born) is 29. Where did the years go? Early this morning, I was pouring over her baby albums, and looking at how young Donnie and I were (21) when we had her. The thing that really struck me, is truly...I don't remember growing older, so how can it be that my baby girl is 29 today.
When Danielle was born, she had 4 grandparents and 8 great grandparents. Today, she is still blessed to have her four grandparents and her 102 year old great grandmother. I looked at the pictures of my parents and Donnie's parents holding Danielle, and I thought, "How young they looked", but to me, my parents at 75, and Donnie's parents at 73 are still young. Even Great Grandma is young at 102, so how can Danielle be this beautiful 29 year old woman, when we are still those 21 year old kids that had her all those years ago?
Truth is....Love is ageless, and watching your children grow into adulthood, and "head out of the door", is what the Circle of Life is all about. You love your children, guide them when they are young, and when the time is right and they are ready to head out on their own, you pray for their happiness, and wish them well.
Danielle left home when she was in her early 20's and took on the Big Apple city of New York. She had her share of ups and downs there, but through it all she persevered. She is a strong, capable, loving and beautiful women, and no matter where her travels take her next, she will head out that door and take it on with aplomb!
I am being very nostalgic today, Danielle (my first born) is 29. Where did the years go? Early this morning, I was pouring over her baby albums, and looking at how young Donnie and I were (21) when we had her. The thing that really struck me, is truly...I don't remember growing older, so how can it be that my baby girl is 29 today.
When Danielle was born, she had 4 grandparents and 8 great grandparents. Today, she is still blessed to have her four grandparents and her 102 year old great grandmother. I looked at the pictures of my parents and Donnie's parents holding Danielle, and I thought, "How young they looked", but to me, my parents at 75, and Donnie's parents at 73 are still young. Even Great Grandma is young at 102, so how can Danielle be this beautiful 29 year old woman, when we are still those 21 year old kids that had her all those years ago?
Truth is....Love is ageless, and watching your children grow into adulthood, and "head out of the door", is what the Circle of Life is all about. You love your children, guide them when they are young, and when the time is right and they are ready to head out on their own, you pray for their happiness, and wish them well.
Danielle left home when she was in her early 20's and took on the Big Apple city of New York. She had her share of ups and downs there, but through it all she persevered. She is a strong, capable, loving and beautiful women, and no matter where her travels take her next, she will head out that door and take it on with aplomb!
Sunday, November 17, 2013
Life is a Hallmark Movie
Recently I posted that life is a Hallmark Movie, and that I loved watching them. I have not blogged in quite awhile, but tonight I find myself wanting to share.
I love Hallmark movies, I love Hallmark card commercials, I love that all Hallmark movies have Happy Endings.
Last Holiday season, two weeks before Christmas, I ended up getting a torn retina, and almost lost my sight in one eye. For two weeks as I was recovering, I was only able to listen to the Hallmark movies, but they helped me get through the two weeks of not being able to get up from the same prone position for 23 hours a day. This Holiday season, a week and a half before Thanksgiving, I find myself drawn to the Hallmark movies more than ever. In the last year my family has faced a lot of ups, and quite a few downs, and if watching a Hallmark movie brings me to a feel good place, then I am not ashamed to say, that they make me smile.
I think the real theme of Hallmark movies is just that....they are movies to make you feel good and bring a smile to your face. Unrealistic though they may seem, I am particularly grateful, that even in the ups and downs, good times and bad times of my life, I like to think that my life is a Hallmark movie. Its a Hallmark movie, because I am grateful for my life, the love of my wonderful husband, the gift of having my children all safe and secure, my parents, siblings, in-laws, friends and relatives. My life as a Hallmark movie is still being written, and it is my wish today, and during this Holiday season, where family and love are in abundance, that my Hallmark movie, like all Hallmark movies, has a very Happy Ending.
I love Hallmark movies, I love Hallmark card commercials, I love that all Hallmark movies have Happy Endings.
Last Holiday season, two weeks before Christmas, I ended up getting a torn retina, and almost lost my sight in one eye. For two weeks as I was recovering, I was only able to listen to the Hallmark movies, but they helped me get through the two weeks of not being able to get up from the same prone position for 23 hours a day. This Holiday season, a week and a half before Thanksgiving, I find myself drawn to the Hallmark movies more than ever. In the last year my family has faced a lot of ups, and quite a few downs, and if watching a Hallmark movie brings me to a feel good place, then I am not ashamed to say, that they make me smile.
I think the real theme of Hallmark movies is just that....they are movies to make you feel good and bring a smile to your face. Unrealistic though they may seem, I am particularly grateful, that even in the ups and downs, good times and bad times of my life, I like to think that my life is a Hallmark movie. Its a Hallmark movie, because I am grateful for my life, the love of my wonderful husband, the gift of having my children all safe and secure, my parents, siblings, in-laws, friends and relatives. My life as a Hallmark movie is still being written, and it is my wish today, and during this Holiday season, where family and love are in abundance, that my Hallmark movie, like all Hallmark movies, has a very Happy Ending.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)