Me and My Shadow

In keeping with my theme of gratefulness, I am writing my blog today in dedication to Shadows, and light.

Two weeks ago, I went to have my knee checked out for a torn miniscus.  At that appointment, the x-ray showed a shadow on my femur.  Then the MRI, Cat Scan and Bone Scan showed the same shadow.

What could this shadow mean....well, they sent me to an Orthopedic Oncologist to make sure that that shadow wasn't cancerous.  I waited for over a week for the appointment with the Oncologist, and during that week, I went through a series of emotions.

The shadow on my femur, now became a shadow made up of worry, fear, depression, and many other emotions that come with the shadow of the unknown.

I tried to remain positive, and I know I had family and friends praying for me.  The hard part of not knowing and waiting to get your results is the roller coaster of emotions you go through (not to mention the tons of food you eat to self medicate yourself)

How could I not remain positive?  11 years ago when my mother was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer that went to her brain, she never once lost her sense of positivity.  Was it her positive attitude, that made her survive the cancer, or was it fate. She just went with the flow, and today she is a walking miracle.  We were blesssed.  We are blessed.  I am one of six children, my husband is one of five.  We have healthy children, healthy parents,a healthy grandson, healthy siblings and healthy nieces and nephews.....I think this is where my fear came into play....

My mother lost her father at 52, her sister at 65, her brother at 42 ,her sister in law at 56, and her mother at 88.  My father lost a sister in law,a brother in law, a nephew,  his parents and other loved ones.  And in my husbands family we lost his fathers parents, his mothers father, and  we were blessed to have his grandmother till she was 102 years old.   Loss is such a random thing in life, that when you have a shadow cast upon your health  you do tend to worry, and wonder....when will our family be touched by loss again?

Today, the shadow was dispersed when the Oncologist confirmed that the light in the tumor shown on the MRI was just cartilage and not cancerous.  Wow! What a relief.  But how crazy is that.  I am grateful to once again be blessed with a positive outcome.  But I am also more sensitive to those who have not had the same good fortune.  I will take this news and continue to have new adventures and make more memories.  While doing so, I will continue to pray for strength for those who did not get good news in their time of shadows, that they too will be able to find some light to lift their spirit. I will remember loved ones who have passed and remember the light they brought into my life.

Me and my shadow, will continue to see light and love in each new day.  I am grateful for today.

Blessings to all