Thursday, June 28, 2012

A True Gentleman

I was looking at facebook this morning and came upon pictures of one of my old high school boyfriends with his family.  For years I have always wanted to write him, and tell him how much he impacted my life.

I started dating him the Spring of my Freshman year of High School.  He was a Senior.  I was a very naive and immature freshman, who loved the attention from the upperclassman.  I can still remember one of our first dates, he brought me lilacs wrapped in tin foil, and we went to see Donna Summer in the movie "Thank God its Friday"  On the drive home he asked me if I would like to go watch the submarine races with him....an in my naitivity, I said, "Sure where are they? and what are they?"  he kind of shrugged it off, and said never mind and drove me home.  The poor guy didn't even get a kiss goodnight.  I was so young and innocent, and I had never kissed a boy before, so I didn't know what was expected of me.

We continued to go on dates, and I'm not sure we ever even held hands.  At 15, I think the term they would use for me back then would have been "Tease", but I didn't even know what that meant.  I had a nice figure, and I was a huge flirt, but I had no idea what being a "tease" really meant.  What I do know is that in this Seniors infinite wisdom, he saw beyond all that, and always treated me with the utmost respect and dignity.  We dated on and off for about 2 years, and in all that time, we never did go to "The Submarine Races".  We spent alot of time just watching movies, and talking, and writing letters when he went off to College.  In those letters I would write that I loved him, but even back then, I was so naive, I didn't really know what love was. 

What I did love, and now know, understand and appreciate, is that this man of 18 was my first real High School relationship, and he was a" True Gentleman."  He could have taken advantage of my naitivity, he could have been more aggressive, and pushed the boundries, but he didn't, and because of him, I learned so much about what I wanted from a relationship.

In my Junior year of High School, I met my then boyfriend (now husband), When we began dating, we only held hands at first, and I remember being so nervous for our first kiss.  I learned alot from the "Senior" and that was that I should never do anything until I was ready.....so when I kissed my boyfriend my Junior year in High School...I was ready for that kiss.  My boyfriend (now husband Donnie) and I talked about everything, and he too was a real "Gentleman" and never pushed the boundries. We took things slow, and I never felt any pressure to do anything I wasn't ready for.

I was a truly lucky teenager, to have had two true gentlemen in my life.  When my daughters and sons were old enough, and getting into their teenage years, I would share with them the story of my first real High School relationship with a Senior boy, and how much he respected me.  I would also share with them the story of how their Dad and I came to be, and how much their Dad respected me.  I think it is because of my first relationship, that my relationship with my now husband is what it is today.   I learned at the young age of 15, that I was worth respecting, and when Donnie and I started dating at 16, that sense of self respect stayed with me.   

 Respect is a hard thing to find in this day and age, but I know that my 24 year old son is a respectful and True Gentleman to his wife, my 25 year old son is a respectful and True Gentleman to his girlfriend of 8 years, and I wish for my daughters to all find love and respect with their own future True Gentlemen.

In ending, though he may never read this.....I am grateful to you (my Senior boyfriend) for how you treated me  a young and naive 15 year old with kindess and respect.  I can see by the pictures you post, that you are happy and have a great family today.  They are truly lucky to have you....a True Gentleman.

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