Last night at my brothers birthday party, the ex-wife of one of his best friends from high school was at the celebration. Not his high school friend, but his wife was at this party. This made me think of our dearest friend Kelly.
Donnie had a childhood friend, and then, this friend became my friend all though high school as well. This friend was a groomsman in our wedding, and he married a woman named Kelly. We first met Kelly when our oldest daughter was 10 months old, and when she married our friend, life was good. We thought the world of this couple, we even wanted them to be named future guardians of our children, should anything ever happen to us. They made such a great couple.
They were married 13 years, and in the summer of their 12th year of marriage, we all went on a vacation to Disney World together. After that trip, we heard less and less from them, and we wondered if we had done something to offend or upset them. Months later, Kelly came by the house and gave us the devastating news, that she and our friend were going to get divorced. Its one of the few times, I have seen my husband near tears. We had no idea they were having problems. We were blindsided.
No one ever knows what goes on behind other peoples doors, or how anyone else's marriage is, but we thought they were perfect together. Needless to say, they were divorced a year later. In that year leading up to their divorce our friend distanced himself from us more and more. When I asked him about this, he said that Kelly needed us more. What I don't think he realized at the time, is that he gave us one of the best gifts of our lives.
Kelly is the kindest, sincerest, most loving person I know. She looks back on her 13years of marriage to our friend with no remorse and she still feels a fondness for her ex-husband. She is not a bitter woman, and she takes on life with a 'cup full ' mentality. To me, she is family. I consider her a sister of my heart, and all of my relatives and my immediate family embrace her as one of our own.
If there were to be spoils had from divorce...then my family has reaped the rewards. We miss her ex husband, and we have seen him occasionally over the years. He has since remarried, and seems to be very happy. Kelly says she is happy for him. Kelly got remarried a year ago, and Donnie and I were her and her wonderful husband Johnny's only witnesses. It was a beautiful wedding and Kelly and Johnny's smiles radiated with pure love.
So I think in this particular case....there really were no Spoils of Divorce, because life and love go on, and I am actually very grateful to Donnie's childhood and my high school friend, because had it not been for him, we would never have had the gift of Kelly's presence in our life.
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