I'm sitting here in my living room on this beautiful Spring Day, and I am looking at pictures of my 5 children when they were at about 5 1/2 months old. The pictures are framed in the custom made frame that once held my grandmother Dougherty's five children's senior portraits. I always loved that frame, and after I had my own five children, I told my Nana, that someday I wanted that frame for my children's portraits. When my Nana passed away, I was given the frame. It's a simple frame, but it hung in my Nana's house for so many years, and now I am proud that it hangs in my home with another generation of children's portraits in it.
The other special thing about this frame filled with my children's portraits, is that my three daughters are wearing a dress that my husbands grandmother had made for our oldest daughter Danielle when she was about 5 months old. The dress was a pretty turquoise blue when Danielle wore it, 7 years later and a little faded Mary wore the dress, and 10 years later, faded even more Jane wore the dress. This dress was made by Donnie's grandmother who is 100 years old today, and I am proud to say that I still have the dress tucked away in my hope chest, and maybe someday another generation of little girls will wear this dress.
That frame, and the dress that my girls are wearing in that frame, are a constant reminder to keep our memories of our loved ones past and present "Framed" in our hearts. Memories, even more than pictures, can be passed on from generation to generation, if we continue to share our stories of our parents, our grandparents and the grandparents who came before to our children and the children to come. When people ask about the frame hanging in my living room with my five children in it....I tell them the story of how the frame came to be, and about the dress that Great Grandma made, and the story lives on, because I am sharing my memories, the ones that I "Frame" in my heart.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
The "Beauty of a Beauty Pageant
The summer I was 18, I was in the "Miss National Teenager Pageant". Like a lot of other girls in the late 70's early 80's Barbizon Modeling was a big thing, and a lot of girls my age dreamed of being models or famous. I wanted to be a model and go to Broadway, so I thought entering a pageant was a great idea.
When I got to the pageant, there were girls from all over Massachusetts hoping to find their dream of stardom. There were also girls there vying for a shot at the college scholarships you could win if you placed in the pageant. As I got to meet and know some of the girls, I realized we were all there hoping to win. Its like when you were little and you dreamt of being a fairy princess, only this was a teenagers dream of wearing a crown, and being a "Beauty Pageant" winner.
Very quickly, I learned that the pageant scene was much like junior high....and there were a lot of "mean" girls who wore fake smiles and pretended to be nice. During our lunch breaks the clicks began, and everyone was trying to "fit in". There was a lot of beauty in the room, but not a lot of "beauty".
Fortunately for me, I found the "beauty" in my pageant experience, in the friend I made that weekend. She was a stunningly gorgeous girl with beauty not just on the outside, but on the inside as well. We sat together during our meals, and talked about our families, and our lives. We just clicked. We went through the paces of the pageant, and it was no surprise to me, that she made it into the top 20....personally I think she should have won. She was glad she didn't win, because as it turned out, she was only doing the pageant, because that's what her family wanted her to do, her heart wasn't really in it.
Our trophy for that weekend of pageantry was a life long friendship. We were both heading to college in the fall, and though she lived in Weymouth, and I lived in Bedford, we promised to meet yearly at Fanueil Hall in Boston. Through the next four years, we kept that promise. After she graduated from College ( I left college and got married a year later) We continued to see each other once a year. We went to each others weddings, were there for the births of each others children and have been emotional support for one and other during the good times and bad times we have been through over the years.
31 years later, with our crazy busy schedules, we still get together at least once a year, but when we see each other, we catch up on the things we have missed, and it will seem like only a day had passed between the times we have seen each other. To me that is a true sign of friendship. She is still a beautiful person on the outside and inside, and I think that summer, we were both winners, because we found "Beauty" at a Beauty pageant, and that Beauty is the friendship we share today. Thanks Carol, for 31 years of friendship, may we have many more years of Beauty ahead of us!
When I got to the pageant, there were girls from all over Massachusetts hoping to find their dream of stardom. There were also girls there vying for a shot at the college scholarships you could win if you placed in the pageant. As I got to meet and know some of the girls, I realized we were all there hoping to win. Its like when you were little and you dreamt of being a fairy princess, only this was a teenagers dream of wearing a crown, and being a "Beauty Pageant" winner.
Very quickly, I learned that the pageant scene was much like junior high....and there were a lot of "mean" girls who wore fake smiles and pretended to be nice. During our lunch breaks the clicks began, and everyone was trying to "fit in". There was a lot of beauty in the room, but not a lot of "beauty".
Fortunately for me, I found the "beauty" in my pageant experience, in the friend I made that weekend. She was a stunningly gorgeous girl with beauty not just on the outside, but on the inside as well. We sat together during our meals, and talked about our families, and our lives. We just clicked. We went through the paces of the pageant, and it was no surprise to me, that she made it into the top 20....personally I think she should have won. She was glad she didn't win, because as it turned out, she was only doing the pageant, because that's what her family wanted her to do, her heart wasn't really in it.
Our trophy for that weekend of pageantry was a life long friendship. We were both heading to college in the fall, and though she lived in Weymouth, and I lived in Bedford, we promised to meet yearly at Fanueil Hall in Boston. Through the next four years, we kept that promise. After she graduated from College ( I left college and got married a year later) We continued to see each other once a year. We went to each others weddings, were there for the births of each others children and have been emotional support for one and other during the good times and bad times we have been through over the years.
31 years later, with our crazy busy schedules, we still get together at least once a year, but when we see each other, we catch up on the things we have missed, and it will seem like only a day had passed between the times we have seen each other. To me that is a true sign of friendship. She is still a beautiful person on the outside and inside, and I think that summer, we were both winners, because we found "Beauty" at a Beauty pageant, and that Beauty is the friendship we share today. Thanks Carol, for 31 years of friendship, may we have many more years of Beauty ahead of us!
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
49 and feeling fine...
Today, I turn 49, and quite honestly, I do feel fine. I have so much to feel fine about. I have my parents, my husband, my children, my siblings, my nieces and nephews, my in-laws, and my friends. All who complete my life in ways that I am grateful for everyday.
My daughter Danielle is going to be running the Boston Marathon next month in memory of her friend's brother who died of Cancer at the young age of 26. It is with respect for him, and all the other people young and old that have lost their lives to Cancer or other diseases, that today I am feeling fine. What I mean is that, today, I will embrace the day, and be grateful for the gift of waking up healthy. My mother, lost her father at the age of 51, her brother at the age of 42, her sister at the age of 65, and her mother at the age of 88. Today my mother at 74 is a Cancer survivor, and everyday she gets up, puts her makeup on, and goes out for a walk. She embraces each day as a gift. So today on my birthday, I am grateful for the gift of life. I think that even those who have fought and lost the battle to disease, were grateful for the mornings that they were able to wake up and embrace a new day, because we never know what tomorrow will bring.
Today, I thank you Mom and Dad for the gift of life, and today I will go out breathe in the fresh air, and say today, I am 49 and feeling FINE.
My daughter Danielle is going to be running the Boston Marathon next month in memory of her friend's brother who died of Cancer at the young age of 26. It is with respect for him, and all the other people young and old that have lost their lives to Cancer or other diseases, that today I am feeling fine. What I mean is that, today, I will embrace the day, and be grateful for the gift of waking up healthy. My mother, lost her father at the age of 51, her brother at the age of 42, her sister at the age of 65, and her mother at the age of 88. Today my mother at 74 is a Cancer survivor, and everyday she gets up, puts her makeup on, and goes out for a walk. She embraces each day as a gift. So today on my birthday, I am grateful for the gift of life. I think that even those who have fought and lost the battle to disease, were grateful for the mornings that they were able to wake up and embrace a new day, because we never know what tomorrow will bring.
Today, I thank you Mom and Dad for the gift of life, and today I will go out breathe in the fresh air, and say today, I am 49 and feeling FINE.
Saturday, March 17, 2012
A Paper Flower.....
Monday, March 12, 2012
What is a Miracle?
24 years ago this coming June, We experienced a miracle. Our third son Ryan was born via c-section. He was 9 lbs and 8 oz. and at first sight he looked perfectly healthy. Within minutes of his birth, he was losing oxygen rapidly and turning blue. The nurses at the Waltham Hospital were amazing, they noticed something was wrong immediately. Within the first hours of Ryan's life, he was intubated, my pediatrician was calling Children's hospital in Boston telling them to make a bed for him, baptized, put in what looked like a space capsule, wheeled in so I could quickly see him, and then transported to Children s Hospital. At 1 a.m.in the morning, the doctors at Children's called my husband and told him, Ryan had a 5% chance of survival. They had a new machine called E.C.M.O (extra corporeal membrane oxygenation) and they wanted him to go on this machine. In 1988 when Ryan was born, under 50 babies at Children's had been treated by E.C.M.O, my husband told them to do whatever they could to save Ryan, and hours later Ryan was one of the first 50 babies at Children s Hospital to be saved by this wonderful machine.
He went from a 5% chance of living, to being a healthy near 24year old married man today. Truly a Miracle.
Over 7 years ago, my mother was feeling sluggish, and having weakness in her left leg and arm. On December 31, 2004, we took my mother to the Emergency Room and it was there that they told us she had a mass in her brain, and that she had cancer. She had stage 4 Lung cancer that traveled to her brain. Not a great prognosis. We were told that 1 in 600 people survived this kind of cancer. My mother is cancer free today. What is even more a miracle is that two years after her brain and lung surgeries, she was diagnosed with stage 2 Colon cancer. She is free of Colon cancer as well. Another miracle.
She is a healthy 74year old grandmother of 22 today.
Both of these instances, Ryan and my mother are truly miracles.
But if someone asked me today, What is a Miracle? I would say...."Today is a Miracle" It is almost 70 degrees outside, the sun is shining, I have a roof over my head, food to eat, and people who love me.
If we all took the time to think about it, there are miracles that we miss everyday. Yes Ryan and my mother are miracles, because they beat the odds that were against them, but there are people in war torn countries, and places decimated by weather, that are out there living and creating miracles as we speak. They are persevering, rebuilding, believing, and beating the odds as well. My wish is that everybody is able to see the miracles in their life.
He went from a 5% chance of living, to being a healthy near 24year old married man today. Truly a Miracle.
Over 7 years ago, my mother was feeling sluggish, and having weakness in her left leg and arm. On December 31, 2004, we took my mother to the Emergency Room and it was there that they told us she had a mass in her brain, and that she had cancer. She had stage 4 Lung cancer that traveled to her brain. Not a great prognosis. We were told that 1 in 600 people survived this kind of cancer. My mother is cancer free today. What is even more a miracle is that two years after her brain and lung surgeries, she was diagnosed with stage 2 Colon cancer. She is free of Colon cancer as well. Another miracle.
She is a healthy 74year old grandmother of 22 today.
Both of these instances, Ryan and my mother are truly miracles.
But if someone asked me today, What is a Miracle? I would say...."Today is a Miracle" It is almost 70 degrees outside, the sun is shining, I have a roof over my head, food to eat, and people who love me.
If we all took the time to think about it, there are miracles that we miss everyday. Yes Ryan and my mother are miracles, because they beat the odds that were against them, but there are people in war torn countries, and places decimated by weather, that are out there living and creating miracles as we speak. They are persevering, rebuilding, believing, and beating the odds as well. My wish is that everybody is able to see the miracles in their life.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
"Raise a kid who won't give up"" How to teach resilience through rain or shine"
Last night at 2a.m. in the morning, my husband Don, and four of our children Danielle, Mike, Mary and Jane all returned from a whirlwind weekend in NYC. When I looked at the Parenting magazine on my kitchen table from the weekend's mail, one of the articles was "Raise a kid who won't give up: How to teach resilience through rain or shine" This article couldn't have come at a better time!
We went to NYC this weekend so that the four children stated above could audition for the television talent contest "The Voice". At 6:30a.m. we got in line with upwards of 6000 people all hoping to become famous. We had to wait outside in frigid weather with whipping winds for over 31/2 hours until we finally got inside for the big moment of truth. As we got checked in (I had to go because Jane is a minor) our bodies began to thaw, and I looked around at so many other "parents'" children, and also some parents auditioning as well. All of these people were hoping that their dreams of instant stardom would come true, and even I was wishing with all of my heart that that dream would come true for my children as well.
Danielle our oldest has been living in NY for over the last three years, standing in lines (maybe not as big) but just as full of hope, auditioning for Broadway shows. She understood what this process was all about, and felt comfortable that she would go into the audition, give it her all and hope for the best, gaining from the experience, but not relying on it to validate her or her talent. Michael, who is in two bands and is trying to make it in the business, went through five stages of grief as he came upon his understanding of how he could view it as a positive thing and not a failure or measure of his talent. (For him it was hard, because he was asked to stay and sing again, and the producer said she was on the fence about him, and she may call him later that day....she didn't end up calling, but the positive light in that, is that Michael can take satisfaction in knowing that there were 6000 people seen, and there were thousands who the producers weren't even remotely on the fence about. He clearly has something, if he gave the producer pause.....Resilience is the key) Mary and Jane who both sing and love to perform, went in with the attitude that "Nothing Ventured is Nothing Gained" I was with Jane at her audition, and she did an amazing job, she was confident, strong and her song was awesome. In fact one of the auditioners told her after we came out of the room, that Jane gave her goosebumps and she knows Jane will be famous one day. Michael and Danielle were with Mary in a separate audition room, and they were both so proud of Mary and her audition, they said she did great....I don't doubt that at all! Donnie and I are so proud of all of them for at least trying. Donnie always said to the kids growing up...."Don't say I can't, say I'll Try".
Everyone who auditioned that day gave their best, and to those who made it through to the next round, I say congratulations and good luck. To those who did not make it through, I say, "Don't give up, be resilient" It may not have been rain or shine, but everyone who waited outside in the freezing cold that day had a dream, my children included, and wherever their life takes them, may they be happy in knowing that for this one day with a crowd of 6000 people, they all Dared to Dream, and as just like Jane and Mary, the way to really look at it was "Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained."
We went to NYC this weekend so that the four children stated above could audition for the television talent contest "The Voice". At 6:30a.m. we got in line with upwards of 6000 people all hoping to become famous. We had to wait outside in frigid weather with whipping winds for over 31/2 hours until we finally got inside for the big moment of truth. As we got checked in (I had to go because Jane is a minor) our bodies began to thaw, and I looked around at so many other "parents'" children, and also some parents auditioning as well. All of these people were hoping that their dreams of instant stardom would come true, and even I was wishing with all of my heart that that dream would come true for my children as well.
Danielle our oldest has been living in NY for over the last three years, standing in lines (maybe not as big) but just as full of hope, auditioning for Broadway shows. She understood what this process was all about, and felt comfortable that she would go into the audition, give it her all and hope for the best, gaining from the experience, but not relying on it to validate her or her talent. Michael, who is in two bands and is trying to make it in the business, went through five stages of grief as he came upon his understanding of how he could view it as a positive thing and not a failure or measure of his talent. (For him it was hard, because he was asked to stay and sing again, and the producer said she was on the fence about him, and she may call him later that day....she didn't end up calling, but the positive light in that, is that Michael can take satisfaction in knowing that there were 6000 people seen, and there were thousands who the producers weren't even remotely on the fence about. He clearly has something, if he gave the producer pause.....Resilience is the key) Mary and Jane who both sing and love to perform, went in with the attitude that "Nothing Ventured is Nothing Gained" I was with Jane at her audition, and she did an amazing job, she was confident, strong and her song was awesome. In fact one of the auditioners told her after we came out of the room, that Jane gave her goosebumps and she knows Jane will be famous one day. Michael and Danielle were with Mary in a separate audition room, and they were both so proud of Mary and her audition, they said she did great....I don't doubt that at all! Donnie and I are so proud of all of them for at least trying. Donnie always said to the kids growing up...."Don't say I can't, say I'll Try".
Everyone who auditioned that day gave their best, and to those who made it through to the next round, I say congratulations and good luck. To those who did not make it through, I say, "Don't give up, be resilient" It may not have been rain or shine, but everyone who waited outside in the freezing cold that day had a dream, my children included, and wherever their life takes them, may they be happy in knowing that for this one day with a crowd of 6000 people, they all Dared to Dream, and as just like Jane and Mary, the way to really look at it was "Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained."
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Behind this Smile....
I just got off the telephone with my sister after an almost 2 hour talk. My sister is a beautiful, kind, generous and compassionate woman. People who meet her are drawn to her kind spirit, and she has many friends who adore her. When you first meet her, you are instantly uplifted, because she has that kind of personality. Both my sister and I to the outside world, are always smiling, and friendly to anyone we meet. As we were talking today, we got into the subject of how people view us, and how most people don't really know what lies behind our smiles.
We both suffer from depression. (There I said it, the big "D" word) there is no shame in this word, it is a part of our lives. We live with depression. Some days it is so difficult to get out of bed and face the world. It would be so much easier to crawl back under our covers, and forget the world exists. Some days we let the depression win, and we stay in bed, but most days, we force ourselves to get up, a go out, and fight to win the battle of our depression.
There are so many types of depression, and everyone suffers differently. My sister and I choose not to allow our depression to defeat us. We have both sought councel for this and at times we have both been medicated. We want to live full lives. So it's like putting makeup on in the morning...for us the makeup makes us feel better, and for us, therapy or medication do the same. The makeup is for the outside, and the therapy and meds are for our inside.
Today during our conversation, I said to her that the people in our lives can be the strongest medicine of all. A random act of kindess, a phone call from an old friend, the laughter of our children, the good health of our parents, or just a cup of tea with a good friend can be stronger than any antidepressant on the market. It is these people who make us want to Smile, and these people who without even realizing it, are helping us battle our depression, just by being themselves.
So for this reason, I will get up today, and I will smile, because my sister called me, and we had a great talk. Today, the depression won't win, because I am grateful for my sister, and she is the reason that today I will get up go out and Smile.
We both suffer from depression. (There I said it, the big "D" word) there is no shame in this word, it is a part of our lives. We live with depression. Some days it is so difficult to get out of bed and face the world. It would be so much easier to crawl back under our covers, and forget the world exists. Some days we let the depression win, and we stay in bed, but most days, we force ourselves to get up, a go out, and fight to win the battle of our depression.
There are so many types of depression, and everyone suffers differently. My sister and I choose not to allow our depression to defeat us. We have both sought councel for this and at times we have both been medicated. We want to live full lives. So it's like putting makeup on in the morning...for us the makeup makes us feel better, and for us, therapy or medication do the same. The makeup is for the outside, and the therapy and meds are for our inside.
Today during our conversation, I said to her that the people in our lives can be the strongest medicine of all. A random act of kindess, a phone call from an old friend, the laughter of our children, the good health of our parents, or just a cup of tea with a good friend can be stronger than any antidepressant on the market. It is these people who make us want to Smile, and these people who without even realizing it, are helping us battle our depression, just by being themselves.
So for this reason, I will get up today, and I will smile, because my sister called me, and we had a great talk. Today, the depression won't win, because I am grateful for my sister, and she is the reason that today I will get up go out and Smile.
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